Happy New Year Elsians!

My blogging break ends today and its funny how my first post for the year has to do with women proposing to men…but what can I do? The video below trended yesterday on social media and is still trending…

FULL VIDEO

Oh Mayne : Lady breaks down in tears as her boyfriend rejects her marriage proposal pic.twitter.com/Y8fafYErEv

— SubDeliveryTwit (@SubDeliveryTwit) January 15, 2018

One light skin beautiful baby girl shot a very big shot which failed woefully. As much as I have tried to feel her pain as a child of God, the child of the world part of me isn’t letting that happen. I keep asking myself over and over again: ‘But why?! Why would I, as a woman want to propose to a man?”

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying it is wrong to propose to a man neither is it wrong to chase a man but as for me, myself and I, I cannot. It’s possible my view on this changes few years down the line but right now, my brain screams NO!

 

Should a woman propose to a man or not?

According to an old Irish tradition, a woman should not utter the words “Will you marry me” except in a leap year.

“Legend has it that “The Ladies’ Privilege,” as it was known then, originated in the fifth century, with an Irish nun later known as St. Brigid. Through her intervention it was decided that on Feb. 29, women would be given the opportunity to pop the question as a way to balance traditional gender roles in a manner not unlike how leap year serves to balance the calendar.”

In heterosexual relationships, the onus still falls on men (well, largely) to decide when to propose. Let’s slow down on this gender equality thing guys. As far as I am concerned, I believe when it comes to the relationship between a man and a woman, we should be talking equity and not equality.

Gender equity means fairness of treatment for women and men, according to their respective needs.

Thing is, I do not believe all men are scum, but I can tell you most men are confused. I mean, very confused and for the most part, SCARED, even if they try to mask it all up.

A man knows the kind of woman he needs in his life but will constantly fall for the woman he wants. If that’s not confusion, I don’t know what it is.

A man finally finds the woman he needs, likes her enough to take the first and important step, but he pulls back…because he cannot handle what he knows he needs. More like ‘I want a confident woman but she is too confident.

I have not dated too many men in my life, I don’t connect with too many people on that level (which is why I don’t take it for granted if I feel any form of connection), however, I have come to the realisation that letting a man take the lead, though doesn’t give 100% guarantee that his head is right where yours is, it gives assurance of his love and commitment to go the long road with you.

How do you cope with someone who is scared and confused without some form of assurance? It’s easy for men to say “I am the man”, but it’s important for a woman to let her man actually man up and be a man. Whether we agree or not, spending the rest of your life with a person can be really scary, especially in this day and age. But being able to go past fear is very important even in business to achieve the desired goals.

There are men who are so awesome that being asked out by them or them asking you out does not change anything. They know how to be men, how to love and treat a woman and will be awesome however it plays out. But dear Queens, these men are very rare.

Don’t be too rigid, don’t be too strict, but be accessible, be available but don’t chase (Except it just for the D call though *wink*)! Don’t propose! Communicate, drop hints, and let him know you like him, let him know you want him…even let him know you need him. But if he doesn’t see you as the woman he needs in his life, what’s the point?

Having a man ask for a woman’s hand in marriage is a way of signaling to her, and his friends and family, that he’s serious and ready for a future with her