I was on Instagram this morning when I saw this post on instablog.
As much as we understand that getting to the top or succeeding is never easy and as much as we all want to see this as an inspiration, this goes a long way to show how uncultured and ill-mannered people can be.
How exactly do you respond to a person who politely asked for a feature that way? I cannot explain how shocked I am to such response. It looked so personal and direct on his person, which again, begs to ask if officialKuddi had a personal relationship or beef with the handler of whatever platform it is, at the time. It would have been fair if his message was ignored than this.
One very good thing about life is how tables turn. The ill-mannered person can now offer to pay him to be featured while he would have created a relationship with officialKuddi which will rule out making any feature payments because a relationship could have been created even without giving him a positive response to his request in 2014. Whatever you do, learn to be diplomatic and not hurt people’s emotions and brand.
I was going to make a post about the syndrome of LOL in chats these days but I guess this is an opportunity to do same. The fact that we follow each other on social media doesn’t automatically make you my friend or family, neither does it make you my ‘boo, bae & dearie’. In growing my career and personality, I have had to reach out to people bigger than me for help, a shout out, a feature or to be guest on my shows (BTW, good news loading…). While at it, I have it at the back of my mind that I may get a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, but that doesn’t take away courtesy from my message. I am not perfect, but I try to be as polite as I can in my chat with people. Check out this much below:
Till tomorrow, I am still finding my voice to respond to this chat as I find it difficult to understand how the “LOL’ sits pretty in this message. It will be important to note that the above happened immediately we followed each other on Instagram. I have had to ask people via chat “what is funny?” when I get the LOL because I just can’t understand. I even went as far as asking my friends if LOL now has another general meanings asides ‘Laughing out loud or Laugh out loud’, because I know I can be lost in the Stone Age sometimes.
When it comes to chatting with people I have never met before or have any real life one on one conversation with, I am very careful. Reason being that, the perception can go wrong. If you are like me, you probably chat the way to talk and it will sometimes take someone who is very liberal or understands your kind of communication to have a very good chat flow without being misunderstood.
However, at the end of the day, there are basics in conversation. The following are tips to help you come out polite when using any of the instant messaging services:
Be formal – I know its social media and most of us like to type using the social media abbreviation but on the other hand, this new way of typing and communication can irritate some people or out rightly come out rude, especially when they do not know the meaning of these abbreviations or see the need. Secondly, that social media brings you close to people in a way doesn’t rule out the differences.
Be clear – when you sense a bit of misunderstanding in your chat, try to explain further to avoid planting a seed you do not wish to harvest.
Do not assume – because a person is your social media friend does not mean they actually know you or can remember who you are when you start a chat with them. The algorithms used for some of these platforms can be very funny that you and I maybe friends for months without us noticing each other or without you noticing me, especially when you are not active on my page. It doesn’t mean he or she is careless or doesn’t appreciate your presence in his or her circle, you are just not known. A brief introduction is nice and state everything clearly like you are coming across them for the first time.
Be polite – with social media, you can meet anybody. You can connect with people who you may never come across in the real world without the help of social media. I have gotten appointments that had me walk straight into the offices of different CEOs and decision makers just by connecting with them on social media. A large number of these people may not be active on social media but a large number of them also are. Mind what you do and be polite in your conversations and social media activities/chats.
Do not look down on any account – it’s easy for us to look at an account with very small following and ignore them because we feel they cannot help our presence online but I need you to understand that if you are not a blogger, a social media personality/influencer, a local celebrity, on air personality or just say a public figure, you really do not have any business in gathering large amount of followers on social media platforms except you really want to and can bear whatever comes with it. You are encouraged to guard your space both off and online jealously for security purposes. This should make you understand that looking down on an account for not having the figures or quality pictures may not be the best move when hoping to connect with people online for businesses. Be polite to everybody and listen more.
Do background check – If I have information about what I do on my profile and on different posts I make, it is totally not cool for you to ask me, ‘what do you do?’, it create a level of turn off. I have had people say to me, “Elsie, please I need you to help me, I feel you can” then I ask, ‘in what way?’ and I am greeted with “what do you do?” for me, I have learnt to control my emotions and simply exit chat, I cant be having Panadol for another headache. Some even come to ask me “what is your name?” when my name is staring at you in the face. Try do little background research on whoever you want to start a chat with. It’s as simple as going through their posts, reading through their profile and knowing what they do or what interests them. This can help you have a very productive and fun conversation with anybody online who is open for it.
Whatever you do, be polite.
If you have more tips for us, kindly use the comment section as we are here to learn from each other.
Feature Image from lifewire.com
11 comments
Thank you very much for this, Elsie. You could not have said it any better. It’s however sad that ppl would still not apply it. Some ppl now see social media platforms as avenues to be insolent and type without thinking. Not to mention the incorrect grammar and incomplete words they fling around. Very infuriating somtin….mstchewww.
Please, pardon my anger and my short forms.
PS: I sent you a DM on instagram when the site was somehow down and you did not respond. I would have still been vexing for you but my admiration for you is way greater sha ?
Cheers!
Chai! My dear, i am sure i read it o, though I don’t even know your handle. That period was sad for me. My site was down for about 2weeks.
Thank God your admiration for me is way greater.
Kikikikikikikiki.
Thanks dear, I appreciate your comments.
Hi Elsie, I was very sad myself. It wasn’t long after I sent the DM that you published a post about the site been hacked. Thank God the site is back and running now. That’s the koko.
On another note, I owe you some write-ups o but you know we these 8-6 people that laziness does not want us to become great…it is well. Please, the e-mail address I can send write-ups to. I do opinion and fiction.
Thanks for being you.
Thanks dear. Please follow this link for details – http://www.elsieisy.com/submission/
This was the same way I asked you in 2015 if you could please announce my blog on your’s cos I was a young blogger and looked up to you but what did you reply me with? Who are you? I cannot do that! So what is the rationale behind this post?….. before you come writing and being all inspirational my dear you should check yourself
Hello Elicia,
Its interesting to see that you feel offended by me in the year 2015 but still follow my blog in 2017. That’s quite humbling.Thank you.
However, i will like to note that in this post, i mentioned that whoever is at the other end can actually decline featuring OfficialKuddi without being all rude and talking about his family and things like that.
If you are saying i said ‘No’, then i cannot even deny saying ‘No’ because i have gotten many of such request from fellow bloggers and have said No because i do not announce blogs, not yet. I have also asked to be announced by bloggers that are way bigger than I am, and i got a ‘No’. But accusing me of responding this way – “Who are you? I cannot do that!”, that is totally impossible because i don’t even talk that way. You probably mistaken me for someone else or something cos the picture you just painted is someone i have never been and can never be.
I am glad you see the post as inspirational even when i published it in the ‘opinion’ category. please take whatever inspiration you can find in it. I also do hope you can get past how you feel. Goodluck with all you do. Regards
Thank you. You couldn’t have said it better. I especially do not like it when someone i don’t know calls me ‘dear’ ‘dearie’ ‘hun’ or anything of the sort. Recently someone sent me a DM on twitter and was using slangs that i didn’t understand. I even had to ask what the meaning was and apparently it’s from one of them Nigerian musicians. I didn’t even bother responding to the message as i can’t reply a message i don’t understand.
Social media and abbreviations have made people become over familiar and forget how to send messages.
Chantel recently posted…TOLERANCE, AN IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP VIRTUE
They force you to ignore them because people like that wont even get it when you try to correct them. and i hate ignoring people.
sigh* God help us all.
Nice write-up! Miss Elsie. I can’t but agree with your post. I recently had to write a formal letter and it was as Herculean as hell for me, I now realize it is because I’m mostly not so formal when I chat on social media. I say we all embrace letter writing again without neglecting what the stone-age has brought.
Lastly,I must compliment you ,you have a good way of replying people without obviously insulting the person ,even when their comment is so exasperating. I wish to learn that from you ma’am.
Thank you Emma,
Let me close my eyes to the second paragraph. LOL
This is a real eye-opener that everyone needs read.
In fact this should attract a national newspaper publication.
Thank You Elsie for the enlightment.
Your good works inspire me.