Relationship is always a game of risk. Even when you think you have checked for all the red flags, people change, dumb things happen but at the end of the day, it’s a relationship. I watched the video yesterday and I was almost moved to tears.
I could vividly imagine what Tiwa Savage must have gone through trying to be a loving wife to her now ex-husband – Tunji Balogun. How much she had stomached to keep up with appearance which a lot of y’all calling her names right now do. The only difference here is that she is a celebrity and some tiny little bits of her private life seems everywhere, fueling dumb rumours and dumb people trying to judge a woman who in my opinion, the only thing she did wrong is trying to keep a happy home.
I got the news of her reaction while I was still on air last night, trust me, I couldn’t wait to watch. Once I got off my program, I landed on youtube. I have seen people whose home are in shambles, women especially, whose source of livelihood is taking the next flight to Abuja to see the next big boy in town for some sex and cool cash talking nonsense on social media, saying the video wasn’t necessary and all that. These words are for you all – you will never be the woman Tiwa Savage is today. I do not blame you all though, na condition cause am. Some of you all don’t even have the patience or MB to watch the video, I perfectly understand your ignorance.
Just like my podcast on Thursday, there are lessons in every situation. So while you all turn yourselves to judges, please learn. I have learnt and must share. Read below, 9 Lessons To Learn From Their Failed Marriage
-
Age is just a number
I watched her confess to her weakness yesterday and all I wanted to do at that point was to reach out to Tiwa Savage, give her a big hug and tell her how strong she is. Most women who we will never have the opportunity of hearing their own stories have made terrible decision because…Age. Dear ladies, this is the 21st century, age should not drive you into fire. Take note.
-
Do not settle for less
No matter how old you are or how deep you think you are in, do not settle for less. You will either have a broken home or live bitter for the rest of your life
-
Look out for the red flags
Always look out for the red flags. The interviewer who I thought was very annoying all through the interview, managed to ask her a very vital question. She asked if she didn’t see these signs before marriage. Tiwa Savage admitted to the fact that she was warned before marriage, she saw some signs but she wasn’t paying attention.
-
Let your head make decisions not your heart
When some of us fall in love, we fall foolishly. Kindly remember to take your head along. Love is always not all we need for a successful marriage
-
Listen to warnings, we are not all against your happiness
We are not all haters. If you are about to make important decisions such as marriage, when 2, 3, 4 or more people tell you it’s a NO, try to find out why. We cannot all be bitter or haters.
-
Marry for the right reasons
Don’t marry out of pity. From Tunji Balogun’s rants on social media and the whole drama playing out right now, I will say part of the reasons which fueled her decision is to appreciate Teebillz for allegedly picking her up from the gutter. Though this said gutter was in the abroad o…ok…you get the point. Marry for the right reasons
-
Talk about everything, including finance
Everything should be talked about. From sex to finance. Money and relationship has been the theme of my radio program for 2weeks now, though we are done but people still don’t get the point. You must talk about your income, your spending habits and your projections. Don’t assume it will all work itself out. An acquaintance still said to me last night after the radio program that the part of the reasons he didn’t listen was because, in his words, “not my kind of topic, i never enjoyed the topic”. Let me just SMH and move on. Don’t assume your partner will be man or woman enough to know his or her responsibilities. We come from different homes, different backgrounds, hence different orientation.
-
Take a walk when necessary
Relationship is not do or die! Heck, marriage is not do or die. Its not rocket science, if its not working for you, its not working. Try all you can but when it doesn’t, please take a walk. You worried about what people will say? Let them say while you maintain your sanity and peace.
-
Do not let society define your success or happiness
Let not the society define you. LET NOT WHAT YOU SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA DEFINE YOU. Define your success, define your happiness, stand by them and make them work.
17 comments
I always laugh at girls like you who think you have an opinion about marriage when you are still single. Untill you tie the knot I’ll advice you to stay off the subject because you can never understand the intricacies of matrimony untill you have been there.
Thank you my dear, Please tell her.
my dear advice no be curse
She doesnt have to be married to take a que from life’s lessons. Any idiot know that.
Lol! Na so, patron saint of married couples. That’s like saying if someone has never driven before, he or she shouldn’t advice anyone that speed kills.There are life lessons everywhere madam. You don’t have to experience something firsthand to learn. It’s people like you who act like Marriage is the greatest achievment on earth. Enjoy your false sense of marital superiority. Cheers.
I totally agree with you. I always say prayer is key. Married or single always pray for your partner because as the bible says ‘the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy…’ Women have good intuition the truth is half the time we don’t even listen to it.
Never ever make the mistake that “he’ll change after marriage” my dear if he hasn’t changed while dating/courting what will make him change after marriage. That’s one lies we tell ourselves
I could vividly imagine what Tiwa Savage must have gone through trying to be a loving wife to her now ex-husband – Tunji Balogun. Your words, how did you arrive at the conclusion that he is now her ex-husband? It will take a lot of time, effort and adjournement for either of them to prove to the law court that the marriage has ‘broken down irretrievably, and dont conclude so soon, they might still come back together if the husband is still interested,
You make small sense but marriage is about been patient, ability to tolerate, Unconditional loving, and give happiness
I so feel for Tiwa right now. It will only take those who have been there to understand her right now… I pray to God to see them both through this. No one should judge her cos to stay in an abusive relationship requires two functioning liver cos one liver can’t handle the craziness honestly. But we all ve got one liver abi? I cried when she broke down in tears. It is well. Just pray for her instead of judging or throwing insults at her and pray you don’t find yourself in such a relationship.
I cried while she was crying,, her story is so touching and painful … I pray GOD to heal her wound and also repair/mend her marriage for her…Amen
*sigh…..* this is really deep…I really feel for her. I pray she finds happiness and I pray tj heals too
Listen dere are worst men than ur husband and are still happily married. It takes an understanding woman deal with such man nt a celebrity like u Tiwa. No perfect marriage. Am sorry but I dnt feel ur tears. I am nt God to judge.. prayer is the only way out. U need to ask urself a question.. did I build my home in christ ?
So in essence you’re saying women should kill themselves becoz of marriage? You don’t even know where her shoe was pinching, there is absolutely no need to attack her pliz
It is sad when i see some people comment about relationship and marriage, its seems they know it all. From the above comment, its shown that you have already taking side about what happen to Tiwa Savage and her ex husband Tunji as its stand now, in this issue both are guilty of the same crime, and need prayers from all of us, there are other people who have the same is worst than theirs and are still together please.
I realized not care what anybody said here regarding marriage & whatnot, this TJ of it is a Narcissist, demonic monster who is jealous of someone who is ever doing her best to make good of this man’s uselessness. What manner of a man does this? He never created you, he never made you, there are people that God Almighty brings in our lives as lessons. Power to you girl- stay blessed. This guy can neither make one one break you!
So in essence you’re saying women should kill themselves becoz of marriage? You don’t even know where her shoe was pinching, there is absolutely no need to attack her pliz