People say “since sex has become easy to get, love became so hard to find.” I sincerely believe that is somewhat true because having to discern LOVE from LUST is as good as Doctorate.Most first experiences don’t turn out good, because we already have an expectation of outcome of sex; thanks to movies, porn, magazines, internet and people’s attitude towards sex. Then that craving sets in.You say to yourself “it’s just the first; the next should be pleasurable, thereby anticipating a next.
And then we start enjoying it. (Hell yea it’s a wonderful experience) then you always want more, you feel ‘I need me some vitamin S’…. then you start understanding what it means to be satisfied.Very few reach this satisfaction with their first partner, for some, they get there After 2 to 3 partners and then you tend to know the sizes of a man’s penis and positions that suites you….. THEN!!!… Satisfaction in bed is added to the so called “Mr. Right’s list”. There and then the problem begins. Even if he takes you on different dates, shows you off, buys you gifts, plenty pleasant surprises, basically treats you the way you want your Man to treat you, you think of; ‘he isn’t good in bed….I can’t spend the rest of my life with a man that can’t satisfy my sexual desire….. Let me enjoy his goodness for a while and move on when there is a better person… I am so gonna cheat.’ And it destroys it all.
But as the saying goes; ‘The smaller the Penis, the more reasonable the man is.’ I don’t know how true that is… So I am here wondering; what if we were virgins and just have a man prove their love in treating you the right way and understanding each other’s character to be sure you compatible then you both head to the altar? Don’t you think there would be less heartbreak and disappointments, less immorality if we could stick to saying NO to PRE MARITAL SEX. More like back to the days of our parents. After all you just would have only your husband’s PENIS for the rest of your life.
So I ask us these questions:
What’s your take on virginity? Do you think being sexually chaste before marriage will help save us from heartache and marriage last longer like our parents believed it will or it doesn’t matter at all? Does a girl’s virginity make you as a guy appreciate a lady more? What do you think?Below are what some of us had to say:
Obinna @MrCrux_M It’s Twisted, i don’t like virgins. At this point in my life yhh…, it’s a wife i am looking for and a woman that has seen stuffs, tasted the dick and chose mine as her favorite. Not one that will taste mine and want to taste another, you dig? I believe the cure to heartache is understanding. Virgin oooo, not virgin ooo, don’t matter. Girl fit spoil after marriage, so its not a determinant. So virginity wont give assurance for a long lasting/happy marriage. I respect a virgin any day any time, its not easy being chaste so you got to give them kudos but the truth is that deep inside, there is always this craving for sexual fun. I respect and appreciate them but i am cared of spending the rest of my life with them Dazall.Tessy @immune70
I can still recall when i was a virgin. I had my mind set to give it to the man i will eventually marry but sadly it didn’t turn out that way. Do i regret it? Yes, everyday. Forget what male folks makes us to believe that they don’t wanna get with a girl if she is a virgin. That’s just something they tell us to fool us into giving it to them. I gave it away but did the guy love me at the end? Did he get married to me? NO. And my next boyfriend, I was faithful but making love everyday didn’t make him stay. That’s why relationships don’t last. Lot of girls give it freely. Look at the days of our forefathers, they married when they were virgins and we didn’t hear of divorce or separation between them. But today the rate of divorce is so high. Since ladies are giving it freely, it makes a man cheat on his wife. But if we stay virgins till we get married then there will be less cases of adultery and broken homes.
Pasto goody goody @pastogoodygoody
Well for me it’s not anything close to what leads to long lasting marriage or anything a good woman. Whether virgin or not, I prefer a good woman with good character to a virgin. For me it has no criteria towards being a good house wife or does it change anything if you marry a virgin or not.
Isioma @Isi_Jay
I think virginity is overrated. I believe if a guy really loves you, he won’t care if you are a virgin. The real fact is that some women who their husband met as virgin and yet they still treat them badly and still have as many girlfriends as possible outside. I think it doesn’t matter. Runs girls (aka ashewos) are even the ones that get the best husbands at the end of the day.
Kehinde @AkoHindey
Sincerely i would say that being a virgin before getting married isn’t a good idea, though we have been made to believe that this is a good thing yet its down aspects can lead to cheating. Sex is gratifying and when a lady starts having it she seeks more and as a novice in it, heading into marriage, there is a tendency she might want to explore outside her matrimonial home. Having sex before marriage isn’t bad but having too much of it isn’t good. Now what is defined as too much? Well this depends on the certain individual and as such the quest for more is where it all goes down high when not being satisfied. The truth is we are different as humans and our thought process are different likewise. To some people there is nothing like too much. In conclusion, LADIES if you want to explore, do so but don’t go too far na… na somebody go marry you oooo…lolz and use a condom. Stay Safe.
Isibhakhomen @eboghomen
From the biblical way, being a virgin before marriage is right because it helps you appreciate yourself and your spouse (if he is the right one). On a second thought, being a virgin doesn’t make you a saint you know, because you would want to test other men after marriage which can lead to cheating. So from my point of view, I don’t really think being a virgin is cool. Because you need to know who you are getting married to before you jump into it. What if the dude has a small dick??? TESTING IS ALLOWED.
Elsie @ElsieMcSumfin
Being chaste before marriage is a good thing, very commendable I must add. The reason I am totally against sex before marriage is this… If I sleep with every guy I have dated, how many do I have to sleep with before it gets to my husband’s turn? I am in my early twenties & of course I have dated lots a guys, yes lots X_x. Yeah I know, I am not a whore & NO, I don’t sleep with them. I just get bored too easily & being that I am young, I haven’t quite ‘found’ myself yet, so I don’t know what I want in a man. I don’t even know what my criteria are for choosing a man, yet. Hope that is not a bad thing :]y Money or success doesn’t move me, cos I am not greedy & I am doing quite well for myself, thank God for that. I just look out for that connection, real friendship. Enough of the blabs about myself, back to the question…..I feel sex is to be cherished, with that one special person in whom you have found your friend, partner, confidant & all (I am a hopeless romantic sha #:-s ) & the feeling of being one’s only or first partner is really something *dreamy sigh* & NO! It doesn’t guarantee anything, it sooo doesn’t. It might strengthen the bond between the parties concerned but no, no guarantees….non at all. There are no guarantees in the game of love sef 3-| & life in general. Anyway, to conclude, sex is for married people but hey I am not judging, it’s not the day you both decide to go to the altar or have a ceremony that is the true wedding day, it’s the day you both decided that, yes, we are going to be together forever. After you have both committed to each other, there doesn’t have to be witnesses. Do you guys get? Plus, my principles are mine to live-by, not to impose on other people.
Akinbosola @Aykaystyles
It’s good to be a virgin till marriage but it is not a prerequisite for being a good person or a good wife. Because she’s not a virgin does not make her less worthy and vice versa. To me, people attach too much significance to it. It’s the heart and attitude that matters, coupled with understanding.
Jennifer @Grillztunechi
It doesn’t matter at all. U see ehn? Virginity is overrated in Nigeria. I thought God created the vagina to be disvirgined. There’s one thing I know, in recent times, if one is a virgin, everyone looks at them like someone who shouldn’t even exist or something, because some marriages have collapsed in recent times just because one of the partner is not sexually active. In most cases, it’s the woman that is usually the victim. Now looking at the question…. SEX SEX SEX …. Sex is just the ultimate thing in a relationship and without being disvirgined, there is just no way a man will continue going out with you till you both eventually get married.Having said all that, the whole chaste thing doesn’t really work out in Nigeria, like people are even scared to roll with virgins and stuffs. Being chaste doesn’t even help secure a relationship let alone marriage.
Bamidele @deltops
My personal opinion, being a virgin before marriage or after marriage doesn’t really count. I personally wouldn’t want to marry a virgin….the wahala of ‘disvirgining’..lol… + its messy. I feel trust is the keyword…if you marry someone who isn’t a virgin, and she’s trustworthy and understands you, both of you would be fine. I don’t really appreciate virgins. I appreciate a faithful girl who loves me whole heartedly and who is proud to flaunt me to the world.
Kaypi @datvideoboyy
Ok, here is what I know: being sexually chaste before marriage will not save your marriage or even save you from heart break. Everything that has to do with relationships, marriages and all are personal decision. Yes, we appreciate virgins a lot…like very very well, but it is not something I believe to make marriage last long or keep your heart safe. This is why I said ‘Personal decision’. Personally I have disvirgined two girls. Here is what happened: I loved one so much and the other was just meant to be ‘take away’. I didn’t believe she was a virgin before the act. After the act, she was actually telling the truth. Now, it didn’t make me love her and it wasn’t because I was in love with someone else. Although I respect her a lot and that’s all she can get.So being sexually chaste is for your own personal good as a lady. Maybe you don’t want to sleep around and all, but if you finally meet a guy, whom you think is Mr. Right and then marry him for whatever reasons. You being a virgin won’t stop him from having extra marital affairs. That’s why i said its all about “personal decision”. Here is what can save you… NOTHING but TRUE LOVE.
Ojemba @Eric_ojemba
For me, virginity is an act of sexual discipline until after marriage. Strictly for couples. And for the second question, it differs, you can’t compare the life of our parents to now. And I think being chaste before marriage helps because it last longer and make me appreciate my woman.
And I would say: if you are a virgin, KEEP IT. You are precious. Don’t let anyone make you feel less. Don’t feel burdened to lose it because your friends say you are not a big girl yet, you are naive or missing out. If you have to, be convinced in your heart that you should. A whole lot comes with losing your virginity, especially to Mr. Left and without proper knowledge of what you getting into. Have a mind of your own. STAY BEAUTIFUL! What do you say? ———————–Got something you feel like sharing?? Send your articles toElsieisy@gmail.com .. Anonymous or not..you decide, just make sure you are passing a message(POSITIVE).
87 comments
It really good to wait tho pressure will surely come from guys buh at the end it always worth it.virginity is a thing of pride nt sometin to just dash out to just any guy cos of his empty promises,and lyk U̶̲̥̅̊ said in ur write up dia won’t be any nid to add dick size and sexual experience to one’s list of what Mr Right must have.
Pressure pressure pressure….. Thanks for reading
As a lady Saving Up your virginity for marriage is the wrongest decision ever,The man who might not be a virgin expects a lot and trust me speaking from a guy’s point of view no man enjoys a boring sex and I bet it is the same for ladies too so as this articles says the day you get disflowered as the old english calls it you will never feel any satisfaction whatsoever and in that process many ladies get to hate their husbands and see him as a monster for taking away their virginity in a manner that is nothing pleasurable un knowing to them as first timers that it is never pleasurable so some wouldn’t want to try it again while others would want to seek outside advice and we all know what that could do to a marriage,I could go on and on but just to cut the whole thing short..virginity till marriage does more harm than good to the marriage.
Oh wow! …Thanks Jo
What if you advise, teach and counsel the virgin lady and the gentleman before their wedding night. What are parents for? What are these so-called pastors who like to take over people’s life for. Is it not their duty to prepare the young people getting married to know what to expect. The cost of experimenting with sex “to get experience” before marriage is too expensive and only fools make that kind of choice. What is the cost of a book on sexual education and coaching from a relationship coach.Only fools learn from experience. The wise use what happened to others to learn. Premarital and extra marital sex are much more involving problems of life than virginity.A virgin, man or woman, should be appreciated for succeeding where many of us failed.
God bless you Francis! The way some people make virgins feel simply because they loosed theirs and want other people to be on the same page with them is quite alarming! It is confirmed that 80 percent of women who had sex before marriage secretly wished that they did not!!! I am a virgin, am proud to be and I have sworn never to give it out to anyone except the man that pays my bride price! Any other person can choose to have sex with 50 different opposite sex all in the name of experiment/experience, it’s their peril!
Reblogged this on Akohindey SPEAKS.
Nice blog post elsie! I dunno why wordpress no gree post my first comment…. Sometimes I wish I was still a virgin…. because in reality guys never really appreciate girls that give it all up to them….. They get tired of “toys” too quickly and always want a shiny new one that hasnt been touched by nobody….. Anyways… God help us all find who would complement us in the long run…
If wish were……. May God help us all. Thanks
Nice blog post elsie…. I personally miss being a virgin sometimes, because in reality a lot of guys do not really value girls who give it all up to them…. Like babies they tend to toss their old “toys” away and seek shiny new ones….. Anyways…. One can only hope to find one who would take one as they are….. Again… Nice post! The opinions though…. Very real…. and insightful
lol… I like your toy story dear… but the drum can be struck from both ends because it’s the mother of all drums “Iya-Ilu”. I’ve been on both ends of it…and I feel your pain, how i wish you can feel mine..
Been a virgin is precious and I respect ladies who holds on till marriage. And as for those who lost theirs, its no crime. Different strokes for different folks. Overall, if you’re still a virgin and wants to wait till marriage before losing it.. I support you. If you’ve lost it, enjoy your sexual life.
Well said… Thanks
Well.\n\nPeople say all sorts of things concerning virginity. Their opinion.\n\nI’m sure we all know what our religious beliefs say. And what I’ll say is do whatever you do as long as you’re not under pressure by anyone, you’re fully aware what you’re doing and no matter what comes after that you’re comfortable with – go ahead and do it.\n\nAfter all, the consequences will be borne by you and ONLY YOU.\n\nNice post, dear. Quite interesting.
Thanks boss
Well, being a virgin is amazing, and dignifying; its not an easy feat in this century. For however long any lady chooses to stay a virgin shouldn’t be anyone’s headache. Our society and various cultures support it – it should be promoted.\nNo lady or man has any excuse to lose her/his virginity before marrriage. However, most people would yield to the yearnings of the body, social pressure etc.\nSex is for marriage. I’m not a judge, I’m not just enough to be one; so, I’d say live and let live. Virgins should strive to stay that way till marriage, they would be glad they did – especially ladies. If you are not a virgin, keep yourself responsibly, and respect your body.
Heheheheh… Sounds like the alcohol ads,”Drink responsibly”. Thanks for stopping by
“No lady or man has any excuse to lose her/his virginity before marrriage. <——– whats your excuse?
Eerrrmmm! #DopeeeePost … Buh Anyways, VIRGINITY IS OVERRATED!
If you say so…..Thanks
Virginity no doubt is a trasurable attribute of a lady, but then, its no guarantee of things yet to come
Am not saying this cause am still a V, bt the truth is sex takes something out of u! Its a soul tie, u have sex with d first guy somehow u tied to him especially wen u give it outta love, then d second, thrid and d list goes on, it gets to a point u don’t have anything to give anymore! It now becomes a duty cs uve heard it all, in all sizes and shapes, nothing excites u anymore, in some crazy situations u begin to imagine shit to come! Its just like hard drugs! U get high d first time, u crave to get dt feeling again, so u take more, and more! Virginity doesn’t guarantee faithfulness but it comes with some level of respect and trust, there are some shit ur hubby wudnt ask u! It all depends on d man u marry finally Oo˚˚°ºh! But last last if all girls stick to getting married virgins husbands wudnt cheat cs dey wudnt c who to cheat with, couples wud learn to understand the spouse and teach them in areas they default in! I believe no one came to this world a star in bed we all learnt d skills, teach her if she doesn’t do it d way u want it! Kai! Perverted generation! God have mercy!!!
thumbs up darl…..thanks
Lmao @ “the smaller d D d more reasonable” abeg d size doesn’t determine their “reasonability” at allllll…….well rili virginity or no virginity….being pure has nofin to do wit it….dere r virgins dat r worse dan sex addicts….it all begins 4rm d mind! Virginity is bn overrated by a lot of pple….dere r virgins dat don’t act or don’t show it nd dere r d 1z who hav nacked 10 guys nd stil claim to b virgins…..rili u wil nt get paid 4 been a virgin it jst makes u look more pure/holy which rili is d case of a “pitiful condition” virginity or sex doesn’t guarantee u a place in Heaven, most of wat we c in our society 2day r technical virgins….dey claim to b but rili dey r worse dan me….lol. Virginity doesn’t make u d best wife or most caring mother….it all comes down to ur attitude, ur beliefs nd ur morals…….mehn d pepper in dis ofada is confusin me wil post anoda comment wen I’m calm…..to all d virgins keep ur virginity safe or still……hav fun nd nack! 😀
This girl z nt well o….the pepper has truly confused you. Lol
Guys can deny it all they want but every guy secretly wants a girl that can say no. If u let them have sex easily they begin to wonder if its that easy wit every other guy. the truth is every guy wants to score. That’s what makes them feel like “the man”. Ladies!!! SEX CANNOT KEEP A MAN! He’ll only stay if he has genuine interest in you. Abstinence is key! And if you are a virgin… Even better!!!
Abstinence…. Be Faithful…. Condom… Na so dem talk am. Lol thanks
My opinion..after table talks with my friends..90% of guys now wouldn’t wanna marry a virgin..no1 wants a log of wood in bed..that ‘keeping virginity era’s long gone’..tho not sayin ladies should start hopping beds gainin experiences like champions league matches..but at least be good in bed,be a great cook,step ur ladylike behavior up a notch,add a babalawo for special effects and then maybe just maybe you’d get to hav the ‘happy married life’ mirage..
Lmao @champions league matches. And what’s babalawo’s job o?
The most important truth is once virginity is broken, there is no further repair to it. There is no need to wince in pain and hate yourself and it isn’t also a criterium to promote promiscuity. So the best thing is if a babe aint a virgin no more, think thrice, do a random check cos no matter how bad a girl you might want to act, u will always feel hurt in the end.
Lmaooo.
Virgin my ass , That thing is overrated… What’s the point getting married and you still gonna taste other dicks , why not test and know your choice before marriage…am not saying he/she should become a whore before marriage …but virginity is overRated …Virginity wil be the last thing on my mind in the process of searching for a wife material
You are vexing o… Lol
Mehn… This is really interesting but honestly, i dont know bout yall but I think I wud give a girl more respect if I marry her a virgin. A Real man shouldn’t be scared to marry a virgin cus experienced or not yall wud have great sex. All you have to do is teach her cus believe it or not she would be eager to learn. Or do you think she abstained cus she doesn’t like it ? As a man if you are a good lover, this shud be beans for ya. (All girls are freaks… The question is ‘are you man enough to bring it outta them ?’) Ladies… If you like the idea of keeping ur virginity then by all means please do. But if you know you want to fuck, fuck somebody worthwhile abeg and stop spreading anyhow like bedsheet on the wire. Jerrylee 🙂
Like bedsheet on the wire….. LMAO
Being a Virgin is all about self control. For a lady to be a virgin at this day and age, it should be a thing of pride for her. At the same time it doesn’t mean she has all the attributes a man is looking for in a woman. So many guys go about saying how they can’t get married to virgins because she’s not skilled in bed etc.( Abeg no one came from heaven with skills in bed we all learnt it here.) They say experience is the best teacher If your woman is behaving like a log in bed get her to feel more comfortable and teach her how you want her to behave in bed. Same guys who want skilled girls for marriage are the ones who go about cursing and calling babes who can count the number of guys she’s slept with on both hands hoes. The best thing is to remain chaste cos if you wanna go by what men want you’ll ruin yourself and by the way the Bible doesn’t support sex before marriage it’s called fornication! Do the right thing and be wise. Be chaste and be holy. And as for those of us who have tasted it, self control and abstinence is key. You don’t have to bone every guy you meet all in the name of compatibility. Sex doesn’t and can’t determine the length of a relationship it doesn’t matter how many times you do it with him in a day If he wants to leave you he will. And Btw no guy likes a slacked *****. Sex is not enjoyed when the you’ve worn out the elasticity of your veejayjay. Remember to always condomise 😉 #oneMan’sOpinion.
Er….I agree with “Abeg no one came from heaven with skills in bed” looool thanks
I would gladly marry a bitch, whore or hoe as they call it now because I don’t have to trust her, she’s had and seen enough already and for her to decide to be with me, then I must be something different.. I don’t have to worry about trusting her, all i need to do is keep that part of me that gave a reason to choose and stay alive..every woman want’s to be responsible and be seen as good… I’ve been on the street for too long to know that..\n\nI will gladly marry a virgin too because i am sure of one thing, for her to say yes to me, then I must have stood out in a great way and all i need to do is keep it exciting to distract her from the excitement that is rumoured to be outside. i don’t have to trust her, she’s proven her mettle and only needs to be respected and loved…If she’s a log in bed, then i become a monkey. If she’s shy, here is the place of wine in marriage… everybody warms up to new experiences, you don’t need plenty coaches to become a pro…one good coach is good enough, ask Serena and Venus, they only needed their father to conquer the world of female tennis so guys, quit the excuse of skills.. together you can consult kamasutra or whatever they call it.\n\nI am a control freak when it comes to my body, although i have weaknesses like the Achilles of this world, I can stand in the guild of virgins with pride even though i am not one. It took close to three decades to bow to the baal called skirt. Not because I was in dearth of women, or money or space to slaughter the lamb, but because i chose not to. Pressure is no excuse for those who couldn’t because I was in the midst of it but I can’t remember anyone putting a gun to my head, the best they did was spite and whoop my ass with words, even girls did. When I did, I did because I was sure I wanted to, I didn’t get pressure or groan for it, i asked and I was given.\n\nI am not on the lookout to get hooked to a virgin, neither am I shopping for experience, i will be with the woman that defines me and not based on her sexual CV. Virginity is dignifying, sex is fun but not as enjoyable as we all make it seem… Sex will not keep a man, in fact, it’s gonna turn a guy like me off if that’s the only card you have to play, it is affordable remember and nothing makes yours better than those for sale so quit the trap mode ideas. Staying chaste is not the joker as well, there is something sitting on your neck and the last time i checked it has more value than the hole or pole between your legs.\n\nHell to the brothers that claims virginity is no longer in vogue, I hope you have sisters and I hope the brothers in their classes and in your hood find them in dark places… I hope that will make you smile.\nHell to the sisters who forget the value on their neck but instead guard their thighs and learn nothing, becoming burden and liabilities, creating nuisance and having no values to bring to the table. Some day you will loose the grace and your man will be filled with rage because no man is satisfied with a lazy, lousy, valueless former virgin mrs.\nHell to the sisters that forget that it is power than lies between their thighs and give it out for, BB, Tfare, Recharge card, Rosay, Hennessy, shoes, bags, cars, anything that money can buy, or just because it’s hitching and they needed it to be scratched, you are the ones bringing disgrace to the women race and your roads will always be rough if you don’t find value in you and stop trading power for peanuts\nHell to the brothers whose pole as become a filling station, don’t be surprised when things go wrong and you don’t know how it happened… it’s called karma, you don’t have to build tall fences to protect your daughters, they will scale it and get whooped by your past.\n\nThe fact is this, as long as we don’t see sex for what it is…(procreation and pleasure in marriage) or virginity for what it should be…(Preservation of self for the ultimate plan and purpose of creation) we will continue to have discussions like this. I am not a judge, neither am I commending the foolish virgins or condemning the sexually active we. Having sex before marriage does not remove your dignity, becoming a bitch or filling station does the job, preserving your body though dignifying does not make you a saint, you need oil for the night, else you miss the groom like your great ancestors in the bible.\n\nI am proud of who I am, many women has seen me naked, if you were around when i was a child, i was notorious for chasing leaves on erosion naked in the rain, ofcourse there were alot of women around, if you weren’t around then, then you must have missed your chance, only few will get the chance to see me naked.. I will post pictures of me without shirts on online soon so you can atleast have an idea of what you’ve missed.\n\nI am Babaolowo 😉
LOL…. And to think I know this EWU of a Man…. :p :p :p ….. na epistle be this oh…
It is the truth my dear, not an epistle.The answers to this question we all know but choose to ignore… \n\nCalling me such a name in public space with my real identity on it is quite demeaning and i think you should rephrase, retract and apologize because you don’t know what you think you know. I put out my real identity because i have no hide to hide and you sure should respect my genuity and genuineness and not put me out in the wrong light on the plato of familiarity and joke. \n\nThinks can only get better!
I think you know that was a joke. If you cant take one… Well…. I dunno what to say… My bad for getting “familiar” with you… I don’t see what the second epistle was for either…. PS: You can vex please…
Lol…. Speechless I am. Thanks sir
Brilliant question out here, but my own view about this is that thou virginity is good but situations surrounding the world has jeopardise usefulness of being virgin. So the most important thing is that love, when a Man sincerely love a lady he wont care about been virgin or not. His love for her will be the first in his mind while virginity will only be an added advantage, but if not it wont be an issue at all! So i will say if you can hold on till you get married well it wonderful but if you cant look out for a serious relationship give it to it, be of good character, show your real self as a person, never pretend, be truthful, faithful, stick to your selves with sincerity i think it will really help making the man don’t even border about you been a virgin or not even if is main aim is looking for one too marry all this in you will sweep him off is fit to take you as you HER….
Good write up, you nailed it raw. Bold writer. I only know of few ladies in the world that would write on the topic most folks shy about.\n\nTo remain Virgin is virtuous and possible but a pretty difficult job i must stress. The quest for adventure ( exciting or unusual experience; it may also be a bold, usually risky undertaking) make ladies and guys venture into an uncertain outcome. \n\nWhy we have a lot of broken family is because marriages are no longer rooted on God’s foundation. How can someone who doesn’t fear God respect you as a partner, the end would be separation. If you do agree with me that it is God’s commandment for us to marry then why can’t we do it in his way.\n\nTo err is human, at least when we err we know it is wrong. And when it is wrong we make amends. There is a problem when what is wrong seems right in our eyes, then the end might be deadly. The Bible says Sex is designed only for married couples so lets heed it. And if you have flouted what the Bible says there is still hope for you, stop your old way and start living a new life in Christ. \n\nff: @gbengalite\nhttp://streetpub.wordpress.com/
Thanks 🙂
Sex isn’t bad but been a virgin before marriage is best to do. Check back if you’ve ever taken a womans virginity, you can always respect that woman on your face. You can forget d number of sex time but you can never forget a virgin’s pussy once fucked. So it is a personal issue. If you are a virgin, please try and keep it with one man you can trust. Sex is nothing but fun, so you can forget the fun and gain respect in your marriage.
Fun fun fun…thank u
hi’ am 22 and i am still a virgin have broke up wit several guys cus i am not ready to give it out nw my present boyfriend is demandin for it nd this is the third time he his askin…..pls help me out wat do i do cus i am scared for d fear of the unknwn.
Hmmmmmm. Virginity talk. First of all deciding to keep ur virginity in this present age is very easy i.e if u re really a virgin frm inside to d outside. You can never understand sex unless u ve had it ooo. No matter d books u read or porn u watch. Before u get disvirgined, u may ve a certain expectation based on wat u ve heard abt sex, bt on d day u get disvirgined, ur expectations will nt be met(90%). Nd wat if they re neva met? Dat wld lead to sexual frustration nd den….. my advice sha is, do wateva u want. Marrying a virgin is nt guarantee dat ur wife is of d best behaviour. Bt i like to see things frm a two way point of view. Cant guys get married as a virgin? Y is nobody stressing guys virginity? What truly disvirgins a man? A man who has sex b4 marriage is not a fornicator? Sex mst be btw 2 pple; male nd female. If we re having d virginity talk, guys shd nt be excluded cos d Bible was nt written for only d female folks. I think its an act of hypocrisy to be bent on marrying a virgin wen u re nt a virgin urself. Virginity is nt a guarantee to anyhing #jstmyopinion#
I’l sure appreciate a virgin. But its nt like i have it in my list of must quality. All that matters is personality
Yeap yeap.. Thanks
We must bear in mind that we can not compare NOW with THEN. Even in those days, we had females who were no longer virgins by the time they got married. but it was always a thing of shame for such women because of African cultural values. but then, values everywhere in the world changed with time, modernity and technology. \nBack then, almost everybody stayed with their parents or guardians at least until they got married, hotels were not where any young person/people could just go to for some form of pleasure and most females had secondary school education at best before one guy will come and scoop them away in marriage. and if we look back, they got married at younger ages both men and women. I don’t think we all can expect a 28 year old single girl who is still in the Uni cos of incessant Asuu strike to still remain a virgin in 2013, when a lady of her age back in 1950 would have been nursing her 4th or 5th child. \nAnd our bodies are designed in such a way that, when you are above 20, the hormones responsible for sexual yearnings will come to the fore, (it’s earlier for some people) but at this young age, you can suppress it baring social pressure, but at mid 20’s, it becomes more difficult. except if something is wrong with such a person.\nBut all in all, if anyone chooses to remain a virgin, best of luck to them but being a virgin is not the same thing as being a good woman. the world has moved on from celebrating virginity, it celebrates a good woman.
Well said bro. Thanks
Virgin or not….promiscuity can be hereditary..no matter how much you try. It takes the grace of God. Put a pig on a gold platter,it will find its way to where it belongs. From biblical angle being sexually chaste is the way to go. But we forget that promiscuity, sexual diseases, and all sort of sex related vices did not exist,or perhaps were at the barest minimum. All i’m saying is, taste the food, be sure its palatable before you finally eat. In the other way round, if you do not have the intent to eat at all…do not taste (If you have sex before marriage, be sure its with the possibility, if not intent of getting married- I AM NOT REFERRING TO SEX WITH OLOSHO O..EHEN.)
Hereditary???? Aha! Thanks o
If you have to taste the food, u will end up over feed.
Hmm…. Well, I for one think keeping your virginity till marriage is cool, so also is loosing it before marriage to someone you will definitely get married to. To me, its funny to say/think being sexually chaste makes marriages last longer. I mean a lady who was deflowered before getting married (to someone else), can and will still enjoy the benefits of marriage. Its all about love, trust and commitment coming into play.
Love and trust it is… Thanks
Personally, I think losing your virginity before marriage is against the laws of God. Pre-marital sex shouldn’t be allowed at all.\nWe have had our roots tarnished with the ways of the western world. If we had retained our African way of life…. the marriage institution will be better off, when expectations are low in regards to sexual performance, and the size of the penis. \nI advise that girls say No to pre-marital sex, and retain their virginity till their wedding night..
Girls u hear? …thanks Jude
According to the religious leaders and maybe the bible too, sexual relations are frowned upon until marriage, and even then, both parties must stay faithful to each other.. That has not been the case so far.. Most people care little or nothing about pre-marital sex.. One’s virginity should be sacred.. A thing of pride.. But society has changed the view on that. Nowadays, the few virgins left would lie and deny their status.. Why? Because society has led us to think that virgins are repugnant! I’m not a virgin.. No.. Like many others, I’s naïve and gave it up because I thought I’s in love.. That’s the same mistake most girls everywhere make.. But surprisingly, I’d rather be this, than be a naïve, gullible bride.. I’m not condoning pre-marital sex.. I’m just saying it’s pointless saying NO to pre-marital sex if you already gave away your virginity. That’s my opinion.. If you still have it intact, trust me, you’re better off saying NO! Although there are health concerns over staying a virgin for too long, but that’s talk for another day.. Nice one Elsie..
Thanks plenty
Sex is important. We talk about it every time. Whether we’re pro-sex or not, it pops up all the time. \nNow when I meet a woman, her virginity doesn’t bother me. I don’t think its fair to judge someone with virginity. If I like you and you’re not a virgin, cool. I probably wouldn’t have liked you an better if you were. So it doesn’t matter to me. \nI do feel like I need to really really point out that a woman who isn’t a virgin will always have the infidelity “trait”. I also don’t agree that if you don’t give it to your boyfriend he’ll respect you more. If a guy wants sex, he wants sex. If u give it to him, he gets it. If you don’t give it to him, he doesn’t get it….and then he leaves…probably. \nPersonality is the most important. Please believe me. Lol.
Heheheh.we believe you. Lol
Being in a Ɠ♡♡D relationship is Ɠ♡♡D….SEX is not Ɠ♡♡D cause it reduces love and trust . am a proud virgin
I’m proud of you Rubby. Thanks
LOL. Ok, it doesnt matter whether you are a virgin before marriage or not. Not having something to compare ur partner to wouldnt stop you from looking for something to compare it to, its like you said.. You wanna see how others feel like. Thats how humans are weird, we are insatiable creatures. What keeps marriage lasting isn’t the virginity status before marriage.. Its the person’s character..both of em. If you truly love your partner, whether the suck in bed or not wouldnt be a part of the criteria(something that shouldnt even exists in the first place). \nBesides, in our world today…experience matters alot. If u don’t have it.. You might find it difficult holding things down.\nAnd Men who would respect a woman for keeping their virginity are shallow and clueless, imo. Her virginity is not an evidence of her character. There are different reasons why people still av their hymen in place, not all are noble.
“Not all are noble”. Thanks
Losing your virginity at an early age, ladies, could lead to divorce later in life. Sounds a little out there, right? But a new study has linked women who lost their virginity at an early age to a higher risk of divorce in your first marriage. The study looked at more than 7,000 female respondents aged 14 to 44 to determine whether premarital sex influenced divorce. Timing and context are the key factors in this study; if a girl under the age of 14 lost her virginity and this outcome was “unwanted,” she was likely to have many sexual partners before marriage, risk potential unwanted pregnancy or contract sexually transmitted diseases. In addition, the researchers contend she will probably get divorced within the first five years of marriage as well.
Mhen!!!! Staying a virgin till marriage is cool buh y regret what u can change? I sha must have sex with le hubby b4 o….I no dey for, ‘dem shoot bird,e mama fly’. Virginity is def overrated in these parts tho, that is why I’m still a virgin (•͡.̮ ~͡)
I gerit o. Virgin girl
Being a virgin doesn’t determine anything in a relationship or marriage in most cases, a girl with a good attitude over a virgin anyday, anytime… Nice 1 Elsie!!!
Thanks Olutoye
Lotta brain-making contributions I must confess! Here is my side of d saga: being a virgin is as good as evry other virtue lik patience, honesty etc. Virginity is overrated, no thanks to our ‘black African’ colouration. Being chaste doesnt mak u a super wifey, it only means u have done well enuf to keep ur age-long seal. Gbam! It’s all on u 2 re-invent urself n exhibit d kinda attitude n character dat will mak ur relationship n marriage last 4eva. Do unto others wat u want dem 2do 2u is d golden rule. If u expect so much, be prepared n willing to giv so much. Tank God Naa Nii
Thanks Yemi
Lovely post
Thanks Dante
Me I know a virgin dat stole bb from her boyfriend and another that took it in d ass from 4 guys in the same house. Yes they r still both virgins o. :p :p Love,trust,happiness and understanding between two people is what is important. Love sum1 for who dey are, not what they’ve done or not done! Okbye!
LMAO! Tanchu moyoO
If I say all that is on my mind, I’ll write an epistle so long that Abidemi’s thoughts wud be like just a word in comparison. I have a summary though. “MOST OF Y’ALL NEED CHRIST”
Different pple with different opinion…..well, I believe its a personal thing. Ve bn a virgin for 21 years not cos of wedding nite like they do say but cos of my own reasons. Its not easy i must say cos ve had to end my relationships n evn had times of emotional stress. I believe if ure ready to start having sex u can but don’t dare to forget the things involved.
Depending on your personal beliefs, what is wrong is wrong, what is right is right. Stick to what works for you. If it is in your wiring to keep your virginity, by all means do. If you don’t even know the difference between when you were a virgin and now you’re not, by all means live your life. Just do not do to another person what you wouldn’t want done to your brother, sister, or self. And everybody is happy. Life really is that simple.Good one, Elsie!
Hmmm, I wanted to remain a virgin till marriage but becos of my high imagination I couldn’t. From age 10 I started reading ‘adult’ novels and always reread sexual scenes. That triggered masturbation. But I was still bent on not sleeping around. Throughout my uni days didn’t date anyone in skul to avoid temptation and only had a distance relationship at a time. But when I went for nYsc in that boring dry village, I gave in to experimentation, touching, oral, etc until I finally gave the hymen. Sometimes I remember my initial desire and feel a bit sad esp because I have a strong love for God and don’t want to be sinful. However, deep within I don’t regret the act itself. I enjoy sex. A lot! There has been no 2 and now on no 3 guy, with the dick size increasing too – from very small to medium and very big. The no. I don’t like and sometimes wish the 1st had been my one and only. But shit happens. I hope there won’t be a number 4. But if by any chance it doesn’t work out then I’m closing my laps until Mr Right puts a ring on it. I won’t want the no. Increasing lolz. Good reason to stay a virgin – when you taste once, forgerrit you will keep going back for more. One of the reasons I couldn’t stop after. The struggle is real lolz. Going from one man to the other not safe health wise and it can give you a bad reputation. And if you believe in God and desire a personal relatnshp with him, premarital sex will be a block in your way. I have learnt to not beat myself for my short comings. I go back to God when I slip. Interesting enough, in my current relationship we both decided to stop having sex and we have been keeping to it. He, more strongly than me sef. Cos I nearly raped him one day. So cross your laps, if self control is not one of your talents.
Ife, your sincerity is amazing! Thanks for encouraging my resolve. And I pray that you will permanently find God too. I wish other girls can be this sincere, it’s going to help the society. Believe me, I really love you for your comment here. #smile# #bighug#
Really nice article. Human needs are insatiable. The more u get, theore u want to get. Staying a virgin till marriage is not a pointer to the fact that u won’t cheat. There are many reasons a person (be it a male or female) will look outside their marriage or relationship. One of which is; evil communication. It is clearly stated in the bible that evil communication corrupts good manners. Another is the movies, books, social media, the internet; to name but a few. It takes being responsible and the Grace of God to stay faithful.Being chaste before marriage is necessary but it is not the ultimate to a happy marriage or relationship
My heart breaks when I see children of the most High God talking dis way. Where r ur sense of value and love 4d tins of God ur father? 4all hv sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God, yes! If u hv lost ur virginity fine, all u hv 2do is ask God 4 4givenss & start keeping urself if u r not married. 4 sex was designd 4 only d married & d word of God says so. Y den do u try to make those. Who r on d right track feel bad about it? Dats hidden envy. U beta keep urself 4rm now on and turn 2God cos Weda u bliv it or not u r sinnin against God ur Holy father d same who wakes u up evryday after hvin ur ‘ experimentin and fun sex’ 4get about ailments, what if u died after one of ur sex escapades? Wher do u tink u will go? Or jst as u dnt see anytin in sinning against ur body which is supposed 2b wher God dwells u dnt also see anytin wrong in burnin in d lake of fire? Pls let us all b wise and 4get about what oda’s r doin and focus on what is actually right 2do in dis last days. Let God open ours eyes 2see dat dis is jst satisfaction of d flesh and it cannot b compared 2 d satisfaction of the spirit in Christ. Also y do u keep seein d bad side of being a virgin till u get married? Y can’t u see d good side of a good tin? 1st keep urself and get married b4 u knw Weda men don’t appreciate virgins anymore and who eva told u dat a woman who has had differnt sexual partners and experiences in bed wuld end up sticking to one man all her life wen she is used to many men? There is notin like hvin wat is urs & will only b urs. And also pls if u dnt knw & hvnt eaten anyoda soup except egusi how can u knw ogbolo and hw can ogbolo start *hungrying* u? Will it b bad if u teach ur wife all dat u knw about sex and d both of u explore ur bodies 2geda? Moreova God dat made lovemaking for couples will surely teach u evrytin u need 2knw 2keep ur husband and he will make sex more enjoyable 4u both no mata hw ordinary d sex mayb dan d1 those experienced sexers r hving cos God neva does half projects, he finishes it and makes evrytin beautiful 4those dat keep His commandments. Also Respect dey say is reciprocal, if u dnt respect and value ur body no man will. Am talkin 2d ladies cos they r d ones dat hv evrytin 2loose if dey allow demselves 2b decievd dat men dnt like 2marry virgins. Trust me no mata hw good u r in sex or experienced jst like hw men feel insecure wen dier women r richer dan dem and like hw dey jst wanna eat rich women’s money and run away wiv deir gf’s so also dey will choose a virgin to marry over u their ‘so called experienced’ gf dat hv been dug open by differnt men so pls ladies b wise cos dis is Africa where polygamy is allowed and some men can afford 2deciev u in2 deir beds. Lastly the bible say a good wife is the reward of anyman dat loves and fear’s God so men u also start keepin urself d way God wantd it 2b 4rm d beginning if u eva wanna marry a faithful and good wife. 4does of u men dat say a virgin may cheat wen she is married well if she culd keep herself wen she wasn’t married 2 anyman and wuldnt b question by any1 if she had 50 men sleepin wiv her den y is it now dat u r married she will cheat? Lemme tell u y she will cheat, she will cheat bcos she is ur karma dat God has designed 4 pple like u and she will hv no guilt in d sight of God cos jst as angels were also sent 2 destroy Sodom and Gomorrah so also she will b sent 2destroy u and d painful tin is dat evn if u dnt marry a virgin dat will end up cheatin on u, if u marry a girl dat is supposed to hv tasted evrytin and decided it’s u she wants,she will still cheat on u bcos dat is ur punishment. Nontheless, all dis can change only if u change cos God looks 4 excuses y He suldnt punish man cos He loves us so much.if u can jst say am sorry to God now His plans 2wards u will remain of good and not of evil. As 4 d girls who see it as pride 2hv explored many men in search of a never ending thing u beta stop now or ur husbands will b cheating not only bhind u buh in ur own house @ur front dats if u dnt end up a frustrated old girl with all d sexual experience in d world but still wivout a husband or a single mum,dats if u hv not weakened ur womb by d so much differnt sexual experiences u hv had. Am not a prophet of doom buh I hv only warnd those who do evil wiv pride so dey dnt incure d wrath of God for God is to be feared and d fear of God is the beginning of all wisdom and experience. Thank You. FRUITY B!
Smiles… It is true virgin or not doesn’t determine heaven or happy marriage but let us remember the following… Premarital sex is a sin n a wrong act… Jesus condemn sins but not sinners… I am don’t advocate for the condemnation of those who r not virgins but premarital sex is wrong…. 4rm d lives of celebrities (especially US) we can see that sex doesn’t help relationship… D world today has embrace see n given sex priority ova our own inner happiness n peace… Look @ d world of today… No sincerely friend bcoz of friends for benefit… If I av not tasted sex b4 marriage will I be concerned for size of dick or pussy? No… Research has shown that disease n infidelity sky rocketed when d world embraces premarital sex as a lifestyle… Also researched showed that only 8% of those who lost their virginity b4 marriage do av self-control n will neva cheat… More often than not most ppl keep going for it to d extent that they get addicted… That’s y the idea of 3some n some some sex is not invoke… Look around us today gang raping is now d order of d day despite there r many gals to open their legs for sex… Y? Why gang rape n rape everyday despite gals giving sex easily? Y? Let’s ask ourselves… The truth is sex is a business… we r being deceived… Today u here av sex tomorrow u here guys love tight pussy so. Buy vaginal tighting drugs n cream… Guys they will tell us buy penis enlargement drugs n cream… But y expand gals vaginal by asking guys to increase their penis size… N ask gals to tighting their pussy… Qwhat a funny game… Guys r fooling gals they will say I don’t like virgins but many virgins r victims of rape… In fact research shows that more than 80% of victims (gals) of rape r virgins… We don’t like virgins but many guys r running after tight pusssy or virgin gals in their area… Most often guys take about the sweet n tightness of a virgin gal they sex… Having anal sex shows u r not a virgin in d real sense… Pls let’s open our eyes n do personal observations… No matter how we try to justify premarital sex it has brought n done more hand than good… More often relationships av no trust bcoz many of us believe it is hard for a gal not to give sex or a guy not to give sex…. With these the human unconscious psychology makes it difficult for us to believe our love’s sincerity bcoz of simple evidence… On d expecting of learning… If a guy or gal b4 marriage can teach u why can’t ur husband or wife teach u? Why can’t u learn when u av one that has said final yes to u… Once again I don’t condemn non-virgins but I am against premarital sex… Pls let’s also try to av a good responsible character so that we can live a good marriage n parenthood life both virgins n non-virgins… If u r not a virgin pls don’t feel bad but ask God for guidance n help n stop fornicating… For those who r virgins pls keep it n don’t be deceive… God blessings is stronger n Heaven n hell exist no matter the scientific world we live…Pls demons r everywhere giving us false biological n psychological reasons we should av sex b4 marriage… A lot of ppl av have unhappy end… A clear example is many men n women who now av sex with their own children, lesbianism, gaism n so on… Even many ppl av died in the fetish sex n orgy sex.. … Pls let’s wake up b4 we die in immorality which means eternity without the love of God…I am 29yrs n a proud virgins… To surprise u all I even know many things abt sex n sex styles more than many guys who r into sex… I do study sex n sexuality course… I make sure I read n do personal research abt current sex trend n it effects to human… God bless us…