Click here for previous episodes of The House

BODE

Ok, Bode calm down…she is alive, she would make it. She would. I didn’t know why I was calming myself down and for what purpose. Probably because a part of me really believes she is carrying my baby. I shook the thought off and looked around, everyone was in a sober mood save for Boka who had been laughing like a fool ever since Blackky gave him the full gist and now seated in the Hospital reception. Everyone, well… everyone except Stella who had gone to God knows where as the rest of us had rushed Yemisi to the hospital.

All the guys were in one corner and the ladies in another, well that’s if you count Wahidi as a lady seeing as he was seated right between two of the Aso rock girls whose names I didn’t know.

I don’t know what he was playing at though, was he trying to sleep with every single lady in the house (well last time I did checked, all the ladies were single sef) and Sesan was looking pretty off form making wonder what the remark Ibironke made was about. Oh well.

SESAN…..

This didn’t go according to plan at all, at all. Come to think of it o, was I mad? Na this Ibironke I still dey nurse hope to fuck? God forbid, just imagine getting into a fight with her, as Drake said sef “there would be no telling”. That stupid Boka still dey laugh, would I Blame him? I actually felt like laughing too but its better not to laugh at a period when Boka is laughing else they would start tagging both of you together and the last thing you want in this life is to be tagged with Boka. So I sat still, arms folded across my chest, what will be would be.

“Who bring am here o among una”…One nurse came out barking with a chewing  gum lounging somewhere in her mouth. No one replied her at first abi Yemisi don die ni? Who wan carry the blame for head?

“Sorry abi una blind for ear ni, who bring am in?”…the question again

Time to take my position back and be responsible.

“Madam no dey shout, na me bring am. Wetin happen?”…I stood up and faced her.

Noticed Bode standing too as I stood, what is this guy’s problem? We would need to confirm our positions later.

“Ok follow me.”..She turned around and started towards where I supposed was the doctor’s office. Omo the yansh wey she carry no be small at all. If I was Wahidi I would definitely be thinking about how to fuck her. That boy no get taste at all at all. I think sometimes having a taste sef is bad luck but that is topic for another day. She led me into the doctor’s office where seated behind a small table was

another lady, does this hospital have a policy against hiring male staffs, yet to actually see a man since we came in here.

“Good afternoon ma”…and without seeking permission, I helped myself into one of the two chairs placed across her. Was half expecting a rebuke from the nurse that brought me in but all I got was…..

“Here he is Ma. He is the one that brought that girl they stabbed in”

“Ok Thank you Nurse Titi, you can leave us”…the doctor said without looking up from whatever she was writing. Come to think of it, half of the nurses I know are either Titi or  Nkechi. Na trade secret?

“Your friend is stable now but we would still keep her here for some days. Observation purposes”….The doctor finally looked up at me.

“Thank God”…I sharply form sigh and concern.

“She is very lucky, you know. If the cut had been any deeper, she would have lost the baby”.

“Ehn Baby?!” …Alarm bells went off in my head.

“Yes, didn’t you know she was pregnant?”…

Pregnant? So Yemisi was actually telling the truth…Oh boy yeeee,Aiye Bode ti baje!

And all these while we were patiently waiting for nine months to elapse so we could actually see the so called baby she was going to give birth to.

“I…I.. knew ..Ma, it’s just the shock of her losing the baby hit me hard”

“It is ok, just go and settle the remaining bills and please you young people of nowadays should learn how to stay out of trouble”…

“Thank you, ma”…Was it me she was placing in the group of ‘young people of nowadays’

How many years she go take senior me sef?. It is not her fault. I was back to the reception to meet the squad, everyone were still in the same position except for Bode who was standing

talking to a nurse. Best not to tell him about the prenancy yet. He looked up and saw me and came over.

“What did the doctor say?”….

“She is going to be fine, she just has to be here a few days for observations”..I said it loud enough so everyone could hear and not come back to asking me jamb questions.

“What is that paper in your hand?”….I asked as I noticed the piece of paper Bode  was holding.

“Oh it is just the bill, I want to get to the ATM and withdraw for it”…..

I wanted to slap him and ask if he was mad or na im be Yemisi father but then again I thought to myself ,let’s just call it early ante natal payment abi.

“Ok go quick..”….I said as he took off.

I scratched my beards and started thinking of the next line of action, I couldn’t think this through alone. I looked around the reception once more and shook my head. I think Wahidi must have noticed because he finally stood up from his comfort zone and came to me.

“Omo iya, wetin happen?”.. I wanted to drag him out and give him the whole gist but then everyone would start thinking something serious is going on. Actually something serious is going on.

“Yemisi get belle true true o”…I whispered low enough for him to hear.

 Wahidi let out a long whistle that caught everyone’s attention. This guy na idiot, walahi. Can’t even carry him to go rob bank.

“Wahidi, wetin happen?”..Blackky called out while Boka stood up and started walking walking towards us. Wetin dey always worry this short dwarf gan? Must he know eveything? Na amebo go kill am last last, that is if I don’t kill him myself.

“Yes oga, we call you? abi wetin you dey find here?”…Wahidi charged at him.

“Wetin?i no fit come stand gist with my friends again?”..Boka replied

   I let out a little laugh, this Boka na real comedian. So now we are all friends once again, well I don’t even know what we were sef from the get go.

“Boka we don hear you but we dey discuss private matter, abeg excuse us”..I had to politely clear him once and for all.

“Na wa for una oo”…He grumbled as he headed back to his seat

“Why you dey always behave like small pikin ,how you go whistle that kain way”..I turned back to attack Wahidi.

“Omo no mind me jare, na the shock of the moment. Wetin we go come do now?”

“Walahi I no know o, As Bode say him dey go ATM to withdraw to pay the hospital bills, I no even reason to stop am. One way or another na him pikin he dey take care of”..

“Shey no no be Ibironke wey stab am suppose pay the bills ni but na true you talk sha”..

“I no sure say I go tell am o till the belle begin to show itself”…I said honestly

“But come Sesan, you don also reason say what if no be Bode get the belle”…

“Guy, I be babalawo ni? How I wan take know that one. No be after she deliver, We go fit do DNA test abi wetin dem dey call am but for this nine months Bode go turn ATM machine.”…..

“Ehn that wan no be wahala, if after she born we discover say no be Bode be the papa we go collect back every single kobo from her”…

I raised an eyebrow at Wahidi, I didn’t know if he was putting in an extra effort to being stupid today.

“You wan collect refund from ashewo? Wahidi, you well?”

“Bobo na suggestion oo”…

We were interrupted by a nurse who walked in and announced that Yemisi was awake and requesting to see Boka.

“Abeg who be Boka here?”…

“Na this short fellow here o”…Blackky answered pointing Boka out for them.

Boka hurriedly jumped up and followed the nurse into the ward. Wahidi turned to look at me..

“You dey reason, wetin I dey reason”..He asked.

I sure was but I didn’t want to believe it. It would be crazy.

Written by Bass, Twitter – @Bass_ige