I met this guy January 2 2014 through a mutual friend, we got talking on phone as I’m in Nigeria and he is abroad, we got connected so much that it seem like we’ve known each other all our lives, I was not in a relationship when we started talking and him too just got jilted at that time by his Nigerian girlfriend who couldn’t cope with the distance any longer, our relationship started so well that as months goes by I couldn’t see life without him, with time I got to meet with all his family down here in Nigeria as we planned to settle down the moment he comes down.
7months in our relationship we started making plans to join me here but the mum blatantly refused his coming to Nigeria, the mum said he need to make so much money before coming, and because of that incident, the mum started having issues with me that I am the one dragging his son to Nigeria because I am desperate, she called me all sorts of names which really hurt.
To keep everyone at peace I then suggested to my boyfriend that I could join him over there since his mum and siblings doesn’t want him coming to Nigeria anytime soon, he obliged and we started my application, Nov 2014 he asked me to give my apartment up in Lagos and go to the village to spend some time with my parents since I will be traveling in few weeks, I Haven’t been given visa but I hate to turn him down when he talks so I did exactly that, I’ve been in the village now for 2 months with no place to fall back to, visa is not being approved by immigration, we now quarrel with every flimsy reason, I am 28yrs old, a graduate with nothing to fall back on, I’m in my father’s house, I need your advice, should I still stick to Him and wait or move on with my life???
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26 comments
You need to move on with your life. Even if he’s still interested, let him meet you productive not as a liability
u r not a baby, why pause your life for a man? dont u know ow difficult it is to process visa? pls pick up ur life and give others a chance
No do not . You will make the same mistale as I done. For 1 year and 5 months and i done all for him to get the visas. He never went even to apply . But he collected all the fees. People that really love u make efforts as u do. I made all possible. And his mum also insulted me after she was praising me as her daughter, If that was his real mother, me big time. I am abroad and white and he is Nigeria. Pls if he loves u he will find his ways to you. Real love has no borders and good people do not insult. Do not waste more of ur time if u do not see same efforts . U will end up losing time, money, self-confidence and u will be depressed and down as I was. So many times he try to lure me back , Pls see your life and move ahead .Fbk
I wouldn’t have given my apartment up or shut down my life over a mere promise. I wouldn’t dance so excitedly to his tune when he isn’t even yet a husband. Just saying..
seconded
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fourthed
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you made a little mistake plus you’ve not even seen this guy before and you assumed the relationship won’t be antithetical
You made a very terrible mistake, you shouldn’t have agreed to relocate to the village without obtaining a visa. I would advise you to start looking for an employment asap and count your losses
LOTS OF SILLY MISTAKE WE LADIES DO,AT FIRST INSTANCE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE LET HIS MUM WORDS SWAYED YOU, REASON IS IN A MARRIAGE YOU LOVE BOTH THE MOTHER AND YOUR HUSBAND, AND IF THE MOTHER IS BECOMING AN ISSUE, MY SISTER YOU’RE GETTING YASLEF INTO SERIOUS SHII.. SECONDLY YOU GAVE UP YAH APARTMENT WITHOUT TWO WEEK NOTICE OF YA VISA. LOOLZ YOU SHOULD SLAP YASELF, NO BODY IS BEYOND MISTAKE, ANYONE CAN FALL VICTIM OF SUCH AS THE CASE OF LOVE IS INVOLVED.. NOW YOU’RE BACK IN YA FATHER’S HOUSE HUH.. JUST RECONSTRUCT YA LIFE GRADUALLY AND DONT RELY ON HIM 100%,.JUST HAVE PATIENCE IN HANDLING IT.. ITS FRUSTRATING.. AND IF LUCKILY YOU SEE A PERFECT SUITOR MA’AM YOU KNOW WHA TO DO
Lol whch nigerian girl will breakup wit a guy who is abroad on d basis of long distant rship?? Who does dat, D guy is lyn jor! Second, never ever make the mistake of thinking that any guy staying abroad who is nigerian will leave his greener pastures and come bak to square one… Even if I were d guy, I won’t even come bak lol. Third, wat if you finally go abroad to meet him and find out he already has a woman dr? How would u take that?Fourth, why did you sell your house?? Are you crazyFifth, now because you r now in ur dad’s house, I urge you to move on wit life.
Chai ….2months …babe ehnn move on wif ur life …
hahahaha……..make i no talk oooooo
Frankly,afta reading ur post,I just laffed and said “do ppl stl fall for dis?”..u need to read ur post as a neutral to see d silly decisions u made.sm1 u av neva met,seen,have no history with(or u think u av a history wt him gven d fact dat u two have been talking for smtime say a year or 2?),yet,u made life’s major descns just to please him.how else wud u expect his family to see u.ofcourse,as a desper8 gal who’s willing to tie herself to sm1 who’s now successful or on d verge of becoming so.I see NO REASON on earth why u shud move ur tings outta ur apartment for a village just because sm1 u tink loves u who’s so so far away asked u to.when I read dat line,I had to laff out so loud..I wanna ask u just one thing and u don’t av to type an answer ere.just gve urself an answer and dat wud serve as a guide for u.”If dis guy were to be in d east,Anambra precisely and u were in Lagos,wud u av indulged in such a distant r/s?”..as a matured lady,I wanna blv u shud be afta men who r promising ere in Nigeria..not just in Nigeria bt d state u r resided..cos,u won’t say dre r no promising men arnd u..stop letting dese men who r overseas deceive u wt d prospect of bringing u down to join dem cos,trust me,there r lots of cuties dre for one to start disturbing himself abt anoda cutie in Nigeria.ow r u so sure he neva slept wt anoda gal all thru dis period u were busy staying chaste for him?frankly,I think u shud move out of dat village NOW,so as to gain ur respect back,start a new life and along d way,get a rsnable man cos,as u and I know,u r getting past ur prime slowly..I hope dis bittertruth of mine helps..
Truth be toldIf not that you mind his already fixed with him on the mention of abroadYou even went as far as keeping upWith his mother bullshitBecause you know surely that when you get thereIs mother will be historyI like those type of motherNot only does she know that you are after his son money,she also know that without money you can’t keep up with his son,with your fake love..or are you going to tell me.you are ready to marry a poor guy..To worsen the situation you don’t even have a job(not stated) I wonder how you pay your bills(maybe the guy has been sending down money)And you stating your age(28) shows that not only are you after his money,you are also seriously desperate to get married before you clock 30Girl look for a job and accept your fate and leave the poor guy alone#PEACE
seen this same poo over and over and over again.. girls be like.. ”I met this guy on Facebook he stays abroad bla bla bla.. ”once they hear abroad their brain resets to default and they stop thinking properly. its really greed that causes these things to happen to our Nigerian girls. long distance relationship doesn’t mata ok as far as the guy is staying abroad.I’ve heard and witnessed a lot of this happen.u shouldn’t have left u apartment in the city for anything. just for visa dat has not even been approved.it baffles me how silly some girls can be.
Dn’t STICK to him, BROOM to him.
only desperate girls do this.he is just a boyfriend and you are already acting like his wife, why should you pester him to for you to join him over there.nawaooo
This is jus the problem with some ladies.Never give 100% to man. Dont give him your all.
You can give your all to a man, just as a man can give his all to a woman. Just dont be stupidd doing it! Get it?
Make i e _ bitchh _ slap the op ….tar!!! Tar!!! Tar!!!I hope you learn from this slaps
Hope de mama neva tru ur name put for1 shrine in village?
we all make mistakes in life. just see this as a mistake and move on with your life. You had a house in lagos…my question is how were you funding the house if you don’t have a job and nothing to fall back on? DO NOT let any man rule your life. you should be able to make decisions for yourself and very sound ones. Until a man becomes a husband NEVER put your life on hold for him and especially someone you have never seen before. Obviously the reason why you don’t have a visa is probably becos you two aren’t married yet, he probably doesn’t have a job that can fund both your lives and a whole lot of others things. PLEASE MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. WORK ON YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE YOU INVITE ANYONE ELSE TO JOIN YOU ON YOUR LIFE’S JOURNEY OR BEFORE YOU JOIN SOMEONE ELSE ON THEIRS. BE A SUPPORT SYSTEM NOT A LIABILITY. That is my 10kobo. http://www.mchantella.blogspot.com
Young lady, some situation calls for desperate measure. The visa is not forthcoming and you are not getting younger.My advice is get a job, become independent and have it @ d back of your mind that when he process your visa application, you can join him there.If by chance u get a job and meet a responsible man pls marry him if he propose to u.