It’s just funny how you put down words in the simplest way possible and people still want you to break it down for them. It’s far from surprising anyway, we don’t have same views and even if we do, we don’t understand situations in the same way and on the same pace.
The blog post I had up yesterday was initially shared on my Facebook wall. I decided to move it to the blog because I kinda liked it. The mails and BBM channel responses I got from sharing that post here on the blog were same with Facebook. Some understood, while some did not.
Like I said, asking can be quite difficult for me but I remember also saying “There are people who would do whatever it is within their power to come to my aid and I hold them dear.”
Meaning I have narrowed it down to the fact that, I must still ask at some point but I know where and who to go to.
Now, as regards me relating it to being in a relationship. Some still argued that a lady should be able to speak out and find ways to communicate her needs to her man. Saying the man isn’t a mind reader and wouldn’t know it all. A lady said, “He is not a magician or a wizard, you need to ask sometimes”
And another had the audacity to compare me talking to God about my needs to telling a man I am dating what my needs are…I refuse to vex o
Then a lady also sent this:
So when you have a boyfriend that isn’t sensitive to your need and you know his financial capability, what do you do because you are not the type that asks…no matter how deep under you are going? Should you break up with him or expect to always be responsible for yourself even though it’s an exclusive relationship”
I promised her I will do a follow up on the post today but someone responded, saying:
Please it’s like you are going through the same thing I am going through in my relationship. I have even made up my mind to letting him be cos if we later get married I think he might continue to live the same way.
Sincerely, don’t give me the ‘he is not a sensitive guy BS’! If you get married to such a guy or remain in that relationship just because you are making up excuses for him, he will very soon find a woman whom he really and truly cares about and then you will understand that he can be 100% sensitive. I just hope it won’t be too late for you.
Except your man has a general horrible orientation on being in a relationship and taking responsibilities, there is nothing like ‘he is just not sensitive’. And if that is the case, then you had better be a psychologist to help him or still, find your way.
Its not bad to ask, but if you have to ask him to do everything he will ever do for you then he will soon tag you the madam asker, always wanting something.
As much as I encourage ladies to be able to hold their own and even assist their man financially when necessary, we should realise that a man will only spend his resources genuinely on a woman he really cares about. Of course there are needs he won’t be aware of and you can always ask if you should, but I believe a man should make his woman comfortable enough to ask him for whatever she needs. Knowing fully well that she has a good head on her head and won’t begin to ask for a Bugatti when Dear Mr. drives a Toyota Camry.
In a nut shell, when it comes to relationship and asking, you will have to ask, but you can’t start out a relationship asking, asking and asking. Be able to hold your own and watch him draw you into his world by taking up few responsibilities, thereby giving you the green light to ask, knowing that his ‘YES’, ‘NO’ or ‘LATER’ has your best interest at heart.
I Hope we get this and if not; email@elsieisy.com
