You’ve probably heard from someone or somewhere that ‘love is never enough‘. Truth is, I stand by that statement. Yes love is needed – meaning love is a very vital ingredient in a relationship but love is not the only thing you need.

In a relationship, you will fall in and out of love a thousand times. However, there is a staying power learnt and cultivated. It doesn’t take love to cultivate the staying power needed in a relationship, it takes maturity, understanding, commitment, respect, wisdom and the will to make it work from both ends.

No matter how much you try to keep your relationship, no matter how adventurous you are, there will be those times…

Those times you just want to be alone. Those times you crave for your own company. Those times you get bored with the whole routine…you just want fresh air. Doesn’t mean you are done, you are simply human.

Why am I saying writing this when I am supposed to be telling you reasons Love Begins To Wither Away In Your Relationship?

Because you need to understand the difference between the times I have described above and the time when love is actually beginning to wither in your relationship. Its not going to be all rosy and beautiful. Simply because we are humans and we are not perfect.

A perfect relationship is made up of two imperfect people who are willing to stand in the rain and sun together.

Well, here are the reasons the love in your relationship can begin to wither if proper care is not taken carefully and fast:

1. Superiority

Suddenly, you read an article on a certain relationship blog, a magazine or a youtube sensation celebrity saying something about how you should stop doing those little things you do for your partner because you are a man/we are in the feminist world and a woman should not do this or that and then you decide to wake up one morning and change the pattern of your relationship. Just like that? You feel so superior to be who you have always been. You nag over things you normally wouldn’t nag about and say things you never said/say things you say but in a very different manner.  Clap for yourself.

The truth is (and this goes to people starting a relationship without giving it proper thoughts), however you lay your bed, is the same way you lie on it. If there is going to be a change, you still have to get up from the already laid bed, lay it again and proper, then lie on it. That process must happen.

If your partner begins to notice drastic changes without proper communication then you are driving the love in your relationship very far away.

2. Wooing

No matter how long you have been in a relationship (married or unmarried), it is important for you to understand that to keep the heart fonder, you must continue doing those things which endeared your man to woo you or those things she said yes to. You cannot kill every romance and chase because you have gotten her/him. keep the fire burning. Once you quench that fire, your love done dey waka o.

3. No respect

So I saw an image/a quote going viral on social media about how the only thing a man needs is respect. I kinda laugh in ibo. We are all first human before man or woman. Take a computer for example, whatever data provided will be used to process an information. If you think disrespecting a woman is cool, then you have another thing coming your way. Nobody loves being disrespected. Nobody! To keep the love in your relationship in tact, you must accord each other deserving respect. A woman you love and respect will always love and respect you. Its that simple.

4. No consideration

The moment you stop considering your partner in decision making – be it business or personal, then you are losing it. This is why you are encouraged to climb all the hills you may want to as a single person and alone without attachments because when two become one, they become one. Of course finding someone who believes in your dreams is very necessary except who have no dream but when you suddenly want to cut your partner off in your decision making, then you got it all wrong.

5. Withdrawal 

Sometimes people withdraw without knowing it. They are just tired of everything, they need a new challenge. Its not something they can control, their stereotyped life is driving them crazy and they need something different for a change. If that is not properly managed then it can be a very big problem. Learn to understand your partner and be matured enough to notice these things.

6. Threshold

Everyone has their threshold. Mine is bad. Bad because once I hit that point, its almost impossible to bring the love back. People hit this threshold after a long while of pain and endurance. You know when he or she keeps complaining about the same set of things and there is no change? You know when s/he has expected you to wo/man up one too many times? It all comes together and people break. They even lose the passion, they don’t get turned on when you touch them, everything about you begins to irritate them. In this case, your love don over wither my dear. Just seek help from above.

I hope this helps you avoid slipping into that terrible state in your relationship. It is really terrible and love is a beautiful thing.