Dear Civil Servant.We hear you are being owed for months, some years.Now you want us to join you in carrying placard for your salaries…Yet when we come to your office to request service:You are hardly on seatYou arrive late and close earlyYou hiss at usYou make us stand in the corner like groundnut sellersYou spend hours chatting on the phone and browsingYou drive us out if you do not like our tone or dressingYou act like you’re doing us a favorYou ask for bribes for everything. Like we are the ones eating your salary.If we decline to pay a bribe you make us suffer for it. as in, come back this time next yearYou actively assist and support those who break the law: the contract buyers, the ghost workers, the bill paddersYou spend most of your time in the office running your side businessYou smile like twice a year; and only at the sight of an envelopeIf we don’t call you ‘Mummy’ we are done forYou sexually harass us because of small contract we want to use to feed ourselvesYou adjust your age 3 times a year to make sure you never retire.Since the day you got employed you have never bothered to update yourself. So your career development and promotion is based purely on politics, tribalism and union blackmail. You know you do not deserve your current position. Be honest. You can barely read this post, talk less of comprehending it.You act like you’re broke but you just built 6 flats you’re renting out. Did those come out of your salary or you won a lottery?You spend half your working hours praying, fellowshipping,preaching and evangelising while our files gather dust on your deskYou are complaining the government is wicked but you just resumed from a 4 year fully paid study leave which you did not spend studyingVirtually every job or contract or grant or scholarship emanating from your department is shared as slots to all of you, to bestow on your relatives. Yet you say the government is corrupt.You are rude, rude rude. Did I mention rude?You do not brook any criticism. Anyone who tries is blacklisted for life from your officeYou treat us based on our appearance. You fawn over those with gold watches and treat those dressed simply like cleaners because you think they can’t afford to grease your palms.Year after year you just mark time, playing office politics and waiting for your pension. You can’t even point to any value you have added to your MDA other than assisting in diversion of public funds. What are we paying you for? We don’t know and neither do you.We routinely leave your offices with a bitter taste in our mouths.Yet you expect us to feel sorry for you.Oya, take sorry. Image source – thehopenewspapers.com