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“Is there a problem”

“No”

“You threw my phone at me like it was burning your palms. Start talking Zira”

His voice is firm, you say nothing, turn to your clothes and continue folding them into your bag.

“You know I’m not letting you leave here till you tell me what’s up.”

You want to tell him the truth, but you remember Lizzy’s firm warning to you the first time you were together. She made you swear to keep it a secret, you did. You tell yourself you shouldn’t have reacted the way you did.

“It’s nothing Sam, I just remembered something”

“And you threw my phone at me, now you are packing your things to leave.”

“I’m sorry” you voice is breaking. You can’t understand why you suddenly feel low.

“About what?”

You pause and stare at his eyes, he doesn’t blink. You turn away.

“That was your wife on the display when the call came in right?”

“Yes, and I told you she is not a…”

“I had an affair with her”

“You what?? Wait, are you a lesbian? No, bisexual? Wait…” He rises to his feet. He is standing behind you now, his presence begins to feel suffocating.

“Call me what you like. My ex decided one time he wanted us to spice up things a bit, so we brought a third person.”

“And…”

“Do you need me to complete the story?  You are at the verge of tears. This was the last thing you wanted, complications not even from a man who claimed to be in an open marriage.

“And I’m not supposed to be telling you this, she made br vow to keep it….”

“Please shut up”

He is totally silent now, disbelieve and hurt etched on his face. Your face falls on the Gideon’s international bible sitting on the bedside drawer. It was as if it was telling you to run, seek solace elsewhere, find friendship in the words of Jesus. You turn away and stare at Sam again.

*****

You are sitting on the edge of the bed, he is staring from across the room. You didn’t think it will hurt him to find out his wife was getting strafed out there. He wasn’t that sober when he first announced to you that his marriage was an open one. Maybe it was the fact that she had an affair with your ex, that it was a circle and he probably didn’t want that.

You break the silence.

“But you said your marriage is an open one.”

It isn’t a question but you expect a response. He is still, silent, watching. You aren’t sure if he is looking at you or staring into nothingness.

You keep talking.

“She has the right to be with someone else much as you do.”

“But that someone shouldn’t be you Zira!!!” He is yelling now.

“And how would I have known she’s your wife?”

“Why the hell would you even bring a third person into the room?”

“Don’t you dare judge me Sam. We are having this conversation because you chose to cheat.”

“I’m not the one who had a threesome”

“Then why the hell are you so hurt??”

“Because I am in love you. Because I think of you and I can’t sleep, I can’t breathe, I can’t think. Because I want to wake up evwry morning beside you.”

The desperation in his voice is frightening. You want to run out of the room but there’s too much of tension. It felt like the air conditioner was warming up the room, not cooling it.

You wanted go tell him you feel that way too, that you wished he wasn’t married whether it was open or not. You wanted to tell him about all the times you felt him even from miles away.

But you chose silence. Your bags are packed. You are leaving, walking away from this life and nothing will stop you.

 – THE END

by Farida Adamu