#BlogFest #50DaysCountDownTo2015 – Day 6. Written by Aduragbemi Barnabas

Tears of regret cascades my eyes anytime I remember John, my former boyfriend. To my own understanding, even conventional wisdom has it that it is normal to repose confidence in someone; especially the one whom you think is an icon of confidant. However the reverse was the case when I later realized that I was just fetching water into an abyss.

Throughout my secondary school, the issue of relationship was like a walking shadow in the dark, which produced a vague knowledge to the beholder. At that stage of my life, I couldn’t really ascertain the major constituent of interaction between two people of the opposite sex, which goes beyond friendship. All my friends then through their sonorous advice, tried to preach the salvation of love to me; which could later develop into a relationship. But I still didn’t discern the underlining message they were trying to pass across.

As a result of this, I was so discombobulated; especially when my friends regarded me as an archaic entity that didn’t fit into their dispensation. In the long run, I later got to know my body and noticed some ‘attributes’ as I matured. Biology later cast doubt on my beliefs: that understanding the structure of my body beyond surface value is hedonism as my parents used to say.

An aspect of Biology known as reproduction, now opened my eyes extensively on how bone and blood is formed through sexual contact with the opposite sex; which later metamorphosed into a living being. So through this understanding I was now conscious of myself.

On the way to knowledge, I later realized that there is an indispensable force that I cannot underestimate, and that is nature. A well of emotional feelings has now developed intensively in my heart. It was this fate that trailed me to John. I so much loved him to the extent that my private issues and those that concerned my family was disclosed to him accordingly.

The Valentine Day of that year was memorable, John took me to an eatery and we had a nice time. He also bought a lot of clothes and all the necessary accessories to match. With this experience, I thought I was with the right man; but not knowing that there are waterloo ahead of me. John told me that there is a business we must invest into which would yield bountiful profit and he ask me to withdraw all my savings in the bank of which I did on the basis of love. He instructed me against the third party in our consensus of which I promised to obey.

According to William Spencer Churchill, “Lies go halfway the world before the truth manage to pant its way on”. I later discovered through the message alert on his phone that he didn’t invest the money but paid it into his own bank account. And thus, John had a skeleton in his cupboard. I asked him to let the cat out of bucket since I was his fiancée, but he told me that I should remember the words of Bob Marley, “Don’t worry about a thing that everything is going to be alright”. That’s how he shut my mouth and I remained loyal to him, believing that he would change.

However, John dissuaded me to enjoy life outside the court of caution. He impregnated me and asked me to abort it; since it was not in line with Divine Command Theory to be pregnant before marriage. I aborted it and the doctor said that my womb had been affected; hence the probability of giving birth in life was uncertain. The straw that broke the Carmel’s neck was when John told me that he was betrothed to another person. He got married and he left for France and I was drenched with shame.

Written by: Aduragbemi Barnabas

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