Life As A Cab Man In The Metropolis

By Sir Jaydee

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It’s been three days since I left the house, my whole priority phase had swallowed me. Even aunty Onos had noticed. The previous night we had a long talk about a lot of things and she kept reassuring me that everything will be fine. Honestly I believed her, I had to because it was good for my mind to stay positive but what will I do without her? I thought to myself feeling relief as I ‘chuckled’.

I got up from bed to perform my regular morning rituals for the day, I thought how I’ve missed the park along with all the crazies that ensured there; the smell of alcohol in the air mixed with the smell of mama Temi’s food and backed up with the endless chatter from men in the park about politics, football, or general life stories of ‘dem say dem say’.

Kai the park is fun sha, now that I have to admit.

Bye bye Aunty , ‘’bye Efe close the gate oh’’ she said . okay ma!.

I Headed for the park and as usual greeted almost everyone as I drove in.

Efe!!! Weytin do you na?? You sick? Abi na laziness catch you whey nor make you come work for 3days ehn???

Crazy Uzo threw all these questions at me under seconds and didn’t even give me space to park properly; lol funny guy! As I came down from the car he asked me again ‘

’This guy weytin do you’’? ‘’Abi you don give that girl belle’’?

I laughed and said ‘’no’’,

He said ‘’abi na ? Because which kain man wey dey find money dey miss work for 3 days’’? ‘Me wey get wife and two pikin no fit miss work, even if I miss work ;highest na one day as he raised a finger to my face and that na wen serious sickness nack me oh’’

‘’Uzo you dey craze oh’’ I said as I laughed

‘’no dodge question oga, oya make I set table’’??

‘’oya set table’’ I reluctantly said

I didn’t want to a discussion with Uzo. I wasn’t in the mood for another story from his ‘life experiences series’. ‘’ O boy Temi dey come my house tomorrow’’ he screamed into my face distracting me from my ongoing thoughts about him.

Ha Uzo! To come do weytin for your house???

‘’sssh nor shout jare’’ he said ‘’she nor dey come do nothing’’

Bros which one be ‘NOTHING’? I asked in response, abi you no know say she be small girl ehn! Uzo?

‘’I know wan touch am’’ he said in a defensive manner.

‘’na lie UZO you wan fuck am’’ I said ‘’ your wife go kill you oh’’

‘’Nna forget that kain talk ohh’’, Temi beg me for money to go school.

‘’so that’s why she wan come your house abi’’? I said sarcastically, so you nor fit give her the money for here abi?

‘’She nor want make her mama know na ‘’, ‘’ so make I no help the girl? He said looking at me

‘’I no talk so but nor just…’’

‘’nor just wetin Efe’’?

‘’ abeg leave that kain talk Efe , that Temi girl sweet die’’! he said with a grin which I quickly killed by telling him ‘’forget sweet guy , that girl na small pikin and your wife go kill you , the girl ,her mama and any other person wey she fit kill on top this matter’’

‘’Efe you don start again, na why I no dey like yarn you something be this’’

‘’oya forget say I tell you anything sef, oya make we play game’’ he Said laughing obviously finding my speech funny.

‘’okay make we play’’

‘’sha I go tell you the truth Oga Uzo , wait make that girl grow small or better still respect your wife and forget the girl joor’’

‘’okay I don hear you ‘’ Uzo said ‘

’ so how far you na Efe ? hope everything dey well for house?’’

‘’omo abeg Uzo how person fit make more money oh?’’ ‘’na weytin dey my mind be that’’

‘’Money??’’ ‘’na money wey you dey find make you nor come work?’’ ‘’guy the taxi wey you dey drive nor enough for you??’’ ‘’abi e nor they give you the kain money wey you want?’’ he asked

‘’I need bigger scale work’’ I said

‘’hmmm shebi you tell me say one of your customer wan hire you as full time family driver but you nor gree ? He said ‘’ abeg that one nor be bigger scale???’’

‘’ why you nor take am’’ he asked with his gaze focused on the game board

‘’The woman family get too much wahala ‘’, ‘’e nor stable I said’’

‘’bros na stable you dey find abi na money?’’ Uzo asked now staring at me

‘’guy play game’’ he said ‘’you never ready!’’

I laughed, oh well maybe I wasn’t really ready as Uzo was saying , but I wasn’t keen on working for the ‘Abayomi’s’ it was just too messy for me. Something else would come I thought to myself I just needed to be hopeful.

‘’guy play jare’’ Uzo said to me

‘’oya take am! Hahahaha I don dey beat you oh’’

‘’take am 1, take am again! He said laughing and panting

‘’Guy nor dey dull yourself oh, stay sharp cos I need win for this game ‘’ he said with a smile on his lips

‘’ who wan go VI???

’’ Efe come carry this madam go that side na , come make money small’’

‘’okay Oga Shafa’’ Guy arrange this thing for one side make I go VI come back

‘’okay guy no wahala , drive well sha’’ he said packing up the game pieces on the board

I walked up to the woman and asked ‘

’ where in VI ma?’’

‘’Adeola odeku’’

‘’2500 ma’’

‘’okay lets go’’

I opened the door for her and her accomplice, they both sat at the back as I drove out off the park and onto VI. After a few minutes my phone rang,

Nnnena was calling me.

I ignored the call as I was driving and besides I forgot my headset at home, in fact all those where excuses joor I thought to myself,

The truth was that I really didn’t want to talk to her. It wasn’t up to 10 minutes then my phone beeped again and this time it was a text message from her, what could be this urgent that she is trying so hard to reach me for I thought to myself?

I just stared at the text notification for a few seconds before fixing my eyes back on the road. I soon reached my destination and the two women alighted and left.

I stared at my phone again to be sure the notification was still there and then thought to myself, but she has a boyfriend? So why won’t she just leave me alone? In fact I need to keep my distance from her.

Do I care about her? Well Maybe

But I just felt too wrong to be doing another man’s babe! Abeg I couldn’t handle the guilt joor. But then again a harmless phone call or text message couldn’t do any harm? I thought again and besides the fact that I couldn’t date her didn’t mean I couldn’t be friends with her.

But she doesn’t want to be friends, I don’t know what she wants and I really really really don’t

Knock on Window*

’ you dey go?’’ I turned to see a man and a woman staring at me

‘’where? I asked

‘’iponri estate for surulere side’’

‘’okay 3500’’

‘’oya make we dey go’’ she said indicating to the man to get inside the car

‘’ driver abeg do fast oh, I nor want make this rain meet us for road’’

‘’okay ma’’ I said as I drove off.

*Tunes radio*

Juice back- Nasty C ft Davido & Cassper Nyovest.