The frequency and severity at which relationships/marriages in recent times, nosedive into craters with reckless abandon drew me to write this piece.

Seriously, I wonder what crosses the mind of ‘that modern boy and the bitchy girl’ getting prepared for a relationship after they’ve crossed that line of friendship, that’s if there was ever one. Could it be this; let’s just enjoy the sex; we will break up anyways…Looking at that phrase pragmatically, I may not be too far from the truth.

It beats the imagination how a seemingly loving pair suddenly becomes estranged lovers at daggers drawn, consequent of a love turn sour. Promptly, they are quick to forget what it was that made them the toast of all. The dark challenges they grappled with whilst their adour lasted becomes their most trusted ally after break-up while the precious moments they shared together are rendered null & void. And worse still, their tete a tete and secret but explicit visual content becomes public property. Albeit at this point the questions we should ask ourselves is; what made you that seemingly love-struck pair and at exactly what point did u become sworn enemies? If you don’t have answers to these and other barrage of self gratifying questions that follow break ups then your next quantum leap will have a far reaching devastating fall that will leave you with that over-used self-pitying and haunting phrase ‘all men/women are the same’ or better still ‘good riddance to bad rubbish.’ Before you quit that relationship/marriage, have a good rethink. Usually the devil you know is better than that angel you ain’t yet up, close and personal with; He could just be same shit but a different dude(babes alike). The Devil doesn’t come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns; he comes as everything you’ve ever wished for, pray for wisdom and discernment.

However if that termite-infested wooden door doesn’t shut; the impact-resistant door won’t open. All I’m saying is weigh d pros and cons before you take a stand. Even when it appears you are standing on both feet after the fall out from your previous relationships and well armed to embark on another, do watch out for the red lights flashing, and take heed lest you fall to literally rise no more. Remember the heart is a very sensitive organ , I wonder how most of us bounce back and come alive again after several heart breaks and ready to suffer another ASAP “abi some people get pass one heart ni?” or is it not the same organ my Biology teacher threatened me with in my secondary school days? Its either my Biology teacher lied about the heart or it could just be that the Almighty must really be an accommodating God as proven. Well, if you believe in miracles the latter shouldn’t be hard to comprehend in relation to heart-breaks. After all, Psalm 34:18 says; the lord is so close to the broken-hearted and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed.

Come to think of it, trying to forget someone you really love is like trying to remember someone you never know, it’s almost an impossible task except of course you never really loved the person in the first instance. In fact, before you go into a relationship with someone, you should first make that person use a computer with very slow internet connection, it will save you of the tragedy that could befall you in an unhealthy or wrong relationship and of course reduce the frequency at which you go for heart transplants in the love Doctor’s surgical room. Women might be able to fake orgasm but trust me; men can fake an entire relationship…TWALE!

Back to the control; not all relationships/marriages are really what they are, if you get. So if yours is not what people think it is then none of these should apply. All gold glitters but not all that glitters is Gold. Don’t waste many years living in a fool’s paradise and then realize that all you had was a fool’s Gold. Don’t go walking several miles in a desert just because you sight what you thought was an oasis from a distance, only to discover after suffering exhaustion and dehydration that it was only a mirage.

Many a times, we ignore that subtle voice in our head momentarily bringing us back from oblivion-we turn deaf ears to that voice of truth that tells a different story to the heart-wrenching nollywood tales we are so accustomed to. Honestly, being single is better than being in the wrong relationship that will tear you apart slowly till you are left with no soul.

In pari passu, love is seeing d perfections in a hitherto imperfect person, once this is established, nothing else matters…if you read between the lines like I’m doing right now then you should be asking yourself this; Is it really possible? You will agree that often times, what we call love is hardly true love…we just make it work.

Lekan Linkin OlofinjiRelationship Aficionado