Previous Episodes –  The House I,  The House II  The House III, The House IV, The House V ,The House VI , The house VII,The house VIII,  The house IX, The house X,  The House XI, The House XII, The House XIII, The House XIV, The House XV, The House XVI, The House XVII, The House XVIII, The House XIX

Whatever it was that I had said that had Sesan laughing like an imbecile. I didn’t know neither did I care, it wasn’t funny a short while ago when Yemisi had walked up to me hands folded across her breast.

“I wan see you“…she had said with a straight face. I had taken a deep breathe. But I had already explained to her that I would get her a new phone once my first salary came in so what did she want to talk to me about again?

“Talk, I’m here“…

“Let’s go inside“.

Inside ke? A toilet smelt way better, I definitely wasn’t going to get in there.

“Let’s talk here…inside is a bit rough at the moment and besides sef, there is no one around“…then I remembered Latifah sneaking out of Ben’s room, she was probably long gone.

“Ok..I don get belle“..she just blurted out.

Ehn, I obviously didn’t hear properly. Belle meant stomach, right. Of course she had stomach na because it possibly couldn’t be what I was thinking.

“I don’t understand“..let me ask well.

“I am pregnant incase you don’t understand pidgin well“…

I sat down straight on the floor and put my hands up on my head. But wait, how was it possible? I just started sleeping with her about two weeks ago, I have never heard of anyone been two weeks pregnant na!

“But how come? You can’t be two or three weeks pregnant na. I just started…..“..she didn’t let me finish.

“Abeg shutup! When you turn doctor? Na from hospital I dey come now and Doctor talk say I get belle. And all my customers dey always use CD. Na only you I dey allow skin to skin“..She yelled out at me.

I put my hands on my head, I was going to be a father even if a premature one. How did I get into this kind of mess? How?..

“I just say make I come tell you make you dey arrange wetin you go do because I no go abort am. Dem don tell me for my village say any day wey I try abortion, I go die” and with that she turned around and walked away. I was seated on the floor till Sesan arrived.

And now he was still laughing like a fool, tears were even rolling down his eyes. I didn’t know what to say or do so I just gulped down the rest of my drink which surprisingly didn’t seem all alcoholic anymore.

“Bode oo, you no go kill me“..He was coming to his senses. I still didn’t say anything.

He calmed down and sat beside me throwing his arms around my shoulders. I wasn’t in the mood for any lectures.

“Bode, sorry to say o as per you be my cousin and all but the truth of the matter is you are a tested and confirmed MUMU! Even worse than Boka sef“…was his opening line. Where was he headed with all this?..

“Wait first, when did you start sleeping with the Yemisi sef? Was it not just two weeks ago?…He asked and I nodded but What?!

“How did you know I was sleeping with Yemisi?”…how on earth?

“Oh Sulu odesin, you think there’s something going on in that house that I don’t know about?“..He hissed. I looked up and saw Ben and Blackky walking towards us. Didn’t know what Sesan was going to say or do about the situation but I was going to trust his judgment. But why didn’t he say anything all these while?.

“Haa bobo, you don come back to the land of the living“…Blackky uttered, what was this guy’s problem with insults?. I didn’t reply.

“Make una come sit down sef, one funny matter don dey ground“..Sesan said. Obviously he was going to tell everyone, well what the hell?. Ben and Blackky sat down with Ben placing a full bottle of jedi on the floor with two cups beside it.

“Ben, how far? You remember that Latifah and Yemisi Collabo matter?“..Sesan started. What was Latifah’s business in the whole matter on ground? I didn’t even want her to find out.

“Ehn, wetin happen? Bode don know the truth ni?“..Ben asked.

“No oo, e for even better.. Now Yemisi say she don get Belle“….Sesan bursted out laughing while Ben’s eyes widen out with stark surprise before he also started laughing. What was wrong with these guys? A prostitute was pregnant for me and they were here laughing. Just then Bello and a badly bruised Boka walked in. Great, just more company.

“How far Bello, dem say Yemisi don get Belle for your Padi oo“..Ben said amidst more laughter…Bello paused and squeezed his face for a while as if trying to get the joke, a second later and he was also laughing like a fool! Only Boka and Blackky didn’t seem to understand what was going on.

“Wait first, who be Yemisi?“..Blackky finally asked the obvious. Sesan calmed down and poured himself a drink before proceeding to answer Blackky question by telling him everything he know. When he mentioned that Latifah had been the one who employed Yemisi’s services to step up my sex game, I couldn’t cry. So I had been a fool and laughing stock amongst these guys all these while. And Sesan who was my own cousin couldn’t even warn me.

“So now in other words, the Yemisi dey claim say she don get Belle for your cousin abi“..now it was Blackky’s turn to join the laughing brigade.

“Abi she don fall in love with you ni“..he continued.

“Ashewo wey dey fall in love with customer never sabi business“…Bello laughed out. Only Boka and I didn’t understand the whole stupid joke. Boka was in a world of his own, lost in thought and I was pretty sure he didn’t even hear any of the things Sesan had said.

“Ok, when she told you all this, what did you say?“..Sesan asked me.

“I didn’t say anything, she said she was going to keep it that they had warned her from her village or family not to ever attempt abortion or she was going to die“…

The laughter that followed was unbelievable, what was their problem?

“If everybody dey laugh, you sef dey laugh? You wey Latifah don turn to her personal ATM..” Everyone turned to look at Boka who had spoken. Obviously he wasn’t talking to me because I hadn’t been laughing. Then it hit me, I had seen Latifah coming out of Ben’s room earlier on and without thinking twice I punched Ben hard in the face that sent him to the floor.

“Chineke, guy wetin happen?!“..Blackky stood up in surprise.

“Just after you guys came back to Konigba this afternoon, I saw Latifah coming out of Ben’s room“..I didn’t even bother looking up at Blackky.

Ben stood up in anger and was about hitting me when Sesan came in between us.

“Guy better calm down, make you no do pass yourself“… Sesan said calmly.

“You no see as he punch me ni? Na him wife abi na him girlfriend I dey fuck abi no be jeje I sit down wey the girl dey always come meet me ni?!“…Ben’s eyes were glowing red.

“So na because woman dey your room this morning and you no want make we see na why you carry us come konigba abi?“..Blackky faced him..

“You fuck up, walahi..I no expect am from you rara..“..Bello continued.

“Why una dey talk like this? Him dey date the girl ni? Abeg make una free me jare!“..and with that Ben walked out holding his Jaw..

I looked up at Sesan my savior wondering what was next….

“Let’s go home and settle this matter once and for all“…

Written by BASS @OlumiCFC

Click here to join our Facebook group where we can have fun and interact. Catch me if you can

 Do not forget to subscribe to this blog via mail for easy sharing. Thanks for your cooperation and understanding.

Join our BBM channel by clicking here or  just search “elsieisy’s blog” or C002984DE

Got something you want us to talk about or feel like sharing?? Send your topics/articles to email@elsieisy.com or Elsieisy@gmail.com .. Anonymous or not..you decide.