Are you going through emotional hurt? Does it seem like love has failed you or your emotion is running weak? Do you feel disappointed in the one you placed your love, hope and faith? Do you feel like a trailer-load of weight just rammed through your heart? Is suicide the most pleasant option in your thought due to deep feelings of emotional misery? Do you feel fooled by the one you live for? Are you psychologically attaching the root cause of your relationship failure on another and indeed everyone but yourself- admitting only credits for what worked and adducing its failings to your partner whom you accuse of hurting you? Do you feel shattered, heart-broken and seriously let down by those you live your life for? Then you need to read this.

The truth is that life is unfair. Life and love break us all, but many are made strong at the broken places. Broken hearts happen through us and not to us.

Heartbreak is a feeling, not a reality. Emotional crisis are no pincers, it has no power to drill a hole through your heart. Hurt has no capacity to break your heart. The truth is that we are not heart-broken, we just feel so. There is a difference. You have the capacity to feel so or not. No one has the power to make you feel bad, awry and sad.

The only power no one has over you is the power of reaction to situation. You have the power not to feel heart-broken, mend your broken heart and the balm to heal yourself. You have the capacity to release yourself from hurt by accepting and realising that no human being is responsible for your happiness but you. You do not require the permission or assistance of anyone including the one who hurt you in order to feel better. You need you to survive. You owe yourself the duty of gladness at all times. You must realise the natural ‘selfishness’ in the word ‘self’ and that life is an individual journey. You are responsible for you. Life is too short to live it in sadness and hurt. Most times those who hurt you are happy and living in bliss whilst you cringe, cry, hurt badly and lick your wounds. Take the best vengeance by cheering yourself up.

Be happy and strong, it’s the best you can do. Laugh hard, make merry and smile at life’s cruel jokes. Broken heart is a circumstantial environment you are going through- you are not your environment.

The best payback for a hurting heart is boundless joy for no just cause. You must realise that no one else but you can remould your broken heart.

One good thing about anything ‘broken’ including your heart is that it can be mended. Until there is a breaking down, there can’t be a building up.

A broken heart is a raw material for a wisdom-infested life. Every of life’s challenges confer a vital lesson- learn it. Don’t love too much or hate too much for that ‘too much’ will hurt too much. Manage your expectations so as not to be roundly disappointed. Remaining hurt does not make you unhurt, neither does remaining angry.

Apportioning blames does not remove the hurt either. Reflect, ask questions, accept your fault and deliberately recover the power to your happiness and hold the key personally henceforth. Those who hurt you might feel so entitled because they feel they are right and you are wrong, you might also feel you are right and they are wrong, but the truth is- in a protracted argument, both parties are wrong.

The god of victory is one-sided, but peace gives victory on both sides. It is this tranquilizing peace you must crave. Free yourself from hurt. Cast your mind back to when you were once deeply hurt but recovered- remember that tough times never last but tough people do. Know that it can’t be worse. No one feels bad forever. Time heals all hurt but give the time sometime. Imagine that both the hurt and the ‘hurter’ never really existed in your world. Smile heartily, give love another chance but not the same lover as that might be tantamount to giving a rifle to your enemy to shoot again after missing the first shot. When love fails, try more love. Let the tears flow in private if you must cry- no one has ever died from too much crying. Tears are the sweat of the heart – release the tears to receive some aeration. A broken heart is not a broken life. Broken heart has no power to kill, only a broken will. You will heal only if you wish.

by Tosin Ayo,

(The ‘word bank’).