The problem with men these days is that they claim to know what they need but are forever after what they want. Women have their faults too but I am not here for the ladies today. When I chat with people, whether online or offline, I try to do so with intelligent people. During the cause of these discussions, we talk about different things from their ambitions and even on to who they would want to spend the rest of their valuable life with. Now you will find out that they know the kind of woman they would want as a better half. It’s all neatly stored up somewhere in their head, nice. However, look at the girls they are attracted to, absolutely opposite, then I can only wonder. Idikwa okay?
Some of them go as far as keeping the ones with about 70% attribute of their needs in a woman at standard room’s length just because of something very stupid and flimsy as a reason. A friend told me he couldn’t get serious with a particular girl all because she stays on the mainland and he on the island. That was the ONLY wrong thing he could see about the lady in question. Island to mainland? In the same Lagos state o. Then a friend’s friend once told me he couldn’t date a girl only because she doesn’t dress in a particular way. From our discussion I realized he wasn’t expecting her to dress trashy or anything close to that (neither was she), he just wanted her to put on decent stuffs that are in-vogue and maybe kinda look expensive. I was weak. If you think this lady in question has the attributes you need as a wife, why let her go just because of a want. A want that can be changed? You want her to dress in a particular way, why don’t you buy them if you are sure serious about dating this girl. Of course you won’t have to start spending your money on a lady when you ain’t sure she is on same page with you but you can at least take out time to be sure she is on same page and ready to go the long road with you. Some even stay away from such lady because of some stored up assumptions……assumptions ooo! What happened to talking and getting things straight?
I know some of you will think I am here again just to support the ladies, far from that. I know finding a life partner is not as easy as it sounds. There are men out there saddened with the burden of looking for a wife. They are ready to settle down but their brain cells won’t let them make the right choice. Let’s not talk about the ones who feel every lady coming around them wants their money or is it the ones who have class issues?
“Ahem!, you know that guy who was dating a particular babe when his blessings has not blown then suddenly he feels the girl isn’t up to his standard anymore, so he has to upgrade. He is still upgrading as I type and the babe is struggling to get over the heart break and move on.”
Yea, that’s how fucked up we are. And that how our little act of stupidity and pride affects someone else’s. As much as it can be a bit difficult to see through some ladies pretense, you can also help yourself. Look beyond the physical things you see and get attracted to. Companionship has a lot to do with your intellectual and spiritual compatibility more than the physical.
As for the younger ones who are not of marriageable age yet (not like there is a set age that I know of though), stop playing around with every Julie, Juliana and Justina. I think this is a perfect time to have someone who understands you, someone who believes in you and your dream, someone you can grow with, someone who will support your every move and add the little she can. It’s better now than later and that is if you truly want a companion rather than just jumping into to the marital institution just because that is what is expected of you. It’s not the time to top up your body count because you are a man and would need to brag about it at 17:59 when you and your friends sit at that table.
All I am saying is, Look out for that person who gives you the attention and have genuine interest in what you are about. There are ladies who are just awesome friends like that though, don’t misinterpret simple friendly gesture for her being in love with you. Look around you and help yourself. Look out more for your needs and stop letting your wants deceive you.
Open your eyes and mind when finding your Mrs.
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21 comments
Call me crazy. If he ain’t got a mansion in Ikoyi I ain’t going. if you like be using style to yab me.
chai! Tope o! your own is not crazy, na tiffery!
Oh No! … And I thought i had a chance with tope, seeing that we are both into bogging. *sighs* I only have a “Man”, the “sion” is not there yet and its not even in ikoyi. it’s alright, “I can do bad all by myself” ;(
Elsie said it best …and guys call women picky
Thanks Nicole, Guys are way picky mehn
Good article… I will contact you when I’m ready for marriage to help me assess my wife.
Erm….that isn’t part of my job description o. Thanks for stopping by Tosin
Wait, lemme read this one more time. Okay, here we go…”Companionship has a lot to do with your intellectual and spiritual compatibility more than the physical.” This did it for me! I’m so excited by this cos I can so relate- the perfect friend conundrum. Anyway, ladies don’t make it easy for us to grow up with them. They prefer chilling with the older and “ready” boys. Wassup with that anyways?! It’s a matter of the right gurl at the right time though. “Intelligence will never stop being beautiful.”
Leave ladies out of this jor. If you are doing the right thing they wont go looking for older guy. Intelligence will always be beautiful but its becoming confusing. is intelligence still widely sorted after?
*clears throat* you have said it and said it well. men like women are confused. infact humans in general are confused. As i was reading i was using my fingers to count all the men i know who have these problems. diaris God o
lol @using your fingers to count all the men i know who have these problems” there is God true true. lol
Such is life… however, most often than not, the blame is on the ladies for being so choosy… for instance the first commenter hereon is a typical attestation to what I am saying….*runs away**
lol, that is the first commenters choice na, not every ladies choice. That’s not an excuse
Seeing as I’m not an advocate for marriage or longtime commitments, should I also imbibe these tips, eh Elsie? 🙂
Walter! Walter!! Walter!!! I know your wedding will be very soon
The question here is do we use logic to justify emotion or do we use emotions to form logic? Sadly, humans are emotional creatures by default. We can have all the logic in the world and it still wouldn’t translate to emotions. But a drop of emotion will turn to logic very fast. When a guy likes a girl he will make up any reason why she is the girl for him, and if that feeling is not there he would convince himself that she isn’t the one. I think in this new age of individuality it has become very rampant. Our parents didn’t have to go through this level of wahala in dating or marriage.
Logic and emotion citing is quite true. Emotions though….
Wow! well said. guys, hope you all read? you cant go after wants neglecting your need because someone who is desperate might just be praying for you to get stupid SHIKENA!
I love this comment. Lol at the last line. Thank you
” I think this is a perfect time to have someone who understands you, someone who believes in you and your dream, someone you can grow with, someone who will support your every move and add the little she can”…… I just love this part….. this is the most important thing i have taken from all you have said. Thank you…