Click HERE for previous episodes

I didn’t sleep much cos by 6am I was wide awake…and as always I reached for my phone which I had kept close by.

Pings and pings to reply…I chuckled and wondered what Elizabeth would think if she woke up and went through my phone. Contrary to public opinion, not all guys put up a password on their phones. Quite a few guys don’t care, I am one of those few.

For a lady to actually pick up my phone means she’s ready for the consequences *shrugs*

I sat up and went about replying my pings and tweeting a lil while Elizabeth slept on, I glanced over to look at her once in a while. She had such a cute smile on her face while she slept. I grinned..nah, don’t think I was catching feelings, she just looked so cute while sleeping.

After Kate and all, finally decided love wasn’t for people like me (that’s if there’s anyone out there as strange as I am). I continued with my phone till around 8:30am when Elizabeth rolled over and rested her head on my chest. She looked and smiled at me, I smiled back and kept on with my phone while she was looking at my fingers typing, I had nothing to hide. After a few minutes, I put my phone away and started cuddling her.

“Do you sleep at all?” She whispered…I didn’t reply. I was busy rolling her ass onto me properly. Funny how peeps think I don’t sleep. Like seriously, my cousins at home would tell you “Mayowa fit sleep ontop water’..lol…pointer to the fact that I tend to fall asleep at any effing time of the day…kinda life I live though. *sighs*..

Once I had her fully on me, proceeded to let my hands underneath my shirt which was still on her…just kept rubbing her bare back while she buried her face between my neck and the pillow. I could feel my erection growing bigger. I stuck my face in her hair, close my eyes for a few seconds and took her off me.

I was reaching to take my boxers off when my phone rang…I looked at Elizabeth’s face, she had the ‘you are not gonna pick that’ look on..I just grinned and picked my phone…Caller ID was Demola, now what’s up?..

“Oga ade, where you dey?” He asked without any greeting sef.

“I dey bode thomas, wetin happen?”

“Dey come house jor, I know say you dey with woman. Sesan dey around with him girlfriend and Mugabs say he dey come too”

I so love hanging out with my school buddies…I didn’t even think about Elizabeth any more.

“All right…give me 20mins..shey food dey?”

“You dey mad, the one wey you chop yes…” I cut the call before he finished his speech.Turned over to look at Elizabeth who was still cuddled up in bed. I kissed her forehead and told her I had an appointment to keep. She just shrugged as I headed for the bathroom…15mins later I was walking down the street to Demola’s place. On getting there, seems the whole gang was complete. On an early Saturday morning! Sesan and his girlfriend (whom he had met on 2go about 2years earlier, Ope who was the tallest amongst us, Mugabs, Jaiye and Kuru shortest and most troublesome). I could see about 3bottles of Russian Vodka on the floor, one was already empty.

“Weyreh you don go fuck olosho abi” Kuru spat out.

I smiled and replied “When I no be Demola na…you know say I no dey carry olosho”. Everyone bursted out laughing, Demola just hissed and faced Mugabs…apparently he was in the middle of a story when I had walked in. I sat by the edge of the bed and listened

“The girl dey mad gan…walahi…as I dey fuck am, dey feel ontop of the world say yes I dey hammer am well, na so the idiot look up talk..”Do you know I don’t even know your surname”…omo my liver cut ni straight”

We all bursted out laughing, I couldn’t believe a girl could be so insane. I pinched Sesan and asked which girl Demola was talking about and he said it was Bunmi Salau (oo Osu doughnut as we called her back in school cos seriously that girl could fuck a horse).

“Wetin you con do?” Jaiye asked still laughing..

“I no do anything oo, but e be like say she noticed the expression for my face, she con begin dey make yeye yeye sounds ‘oo fuck me harder, yes yes!’I just dey curse the girl for my mind say na me she dey try deceive abi?”…Demola was shaking his head as he continued his story.

Everyone was laughing so hard that he had to pause. The girl had really belittled him.

“I no talk anything oo. We sha do finish. She go…I con sit down dey reason my life say no be say I don fuckup be dis?..well issorai, two days later I go Konigba (Konigba’s a popular joint in OOU. Popular cos of an old woman that sold Jedi (local herbal drink)..I sit down, drank one bottle with those fried fish she dey always sell..as I reach house for evening, na so I call her to come over oo. I fuck this girl ehn, she scream by force”…

I was laughing so hard, I nearly fell off the bed. I had a firsthand experience of what the jedi at Konigba could do to a man’s sexual prowess so I could relate to what he was saying. He continued…

“If to say I know say na me go suffer the consequences, I for no do strong head fuck am the second time o coz the next week wey I travel go house for Lagos..I fall sick ni straight! So te when dem carry me go hospital for checkup..I dey hundred percent sure say the Doctor know say I don go do pass myself. Since popsi dey beside me, the Doctor just code talk say make I reduce exercise and make I no too dey stress myself for school. I just dey nod say yes sir yes sir..me wey I know wetin cause my sickness..the following week wey I don recover small come back school..as I dey drop for chips (the name of our bus stop) na Bunmi I first run into. I look up to Heaven ask if dem send dis girl to kill me ni. If you see the way she take smile at me ehn ask say wetin I bring come from house”…

Seriously I was pretty sure the sounds of our laughter could be heard outside the compound. This was effing hilarious..I was having a hard time breathing..he continued…..

“She sha help me carry bag go house..as we go enter room luckily, Lawal (his roomate then) dey room..I just greet dat one begin calcu how I go discharge the girl…na so she say she dey come oo. She comot for room. I dey relieved say she don go. I first sit down relax…con begin yarn Lawal d girl story..w.alahi e no reach 5minutes she don knock again oo..I just stand up enter toilet.”

To be continued…

Written by Bass ( Twitter – @Bass_ige)