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The story of the sad joker and the story of the divorced marriage counselor… well, let someone pacify the pacifier first.

I opened my eyes my slowly like I was just waking up from a dream, looked around, felt a slow sharp pain all move from my head down like a laser scan to my feet. I looked at my hands to find a few strings attached which I traced with my eyes to the life support and oxygen tank beside me, and that was when I realized I was on a hospital bed with the pulse sensor and their other numerous gadgets attached to various parts of my body.

I groaned at the attempt to get up.

A sharp piercing pain drilled through my head from left to right and it was like my memories started syphoning into my brain and bit by bit, I could remember the happenings of the past couple of months that led to this.

For around five seconds, I felt a burning pain ignite in my chest and burned its way through my jaw and quenched.

At this point, I could remember how it all started.

Memories!

“Believe me when I say I’m really excited, June’s coming to Lagos next week. She told me 2 days ago that she has a 2 weeks course in preparation for her transfer from Abj to Lag” – T.E.F #1

 

“Having Titi sit directly opposite me in this same pub, at this same corner was like a key to the flood gate of memories. They rushed in so hard, I nearly puked some. Nobody spoke” – T.E.F #2

 

“I dated Titi throughout her university days. We were both adventurous and we never got tired of doing things out of anyone’s wildest dreams. We were crazy about each other and we both kept things on the low in our estate.” – T.E.F #3

 

“Dave is the third relationship after you and I’m still hoping to find someone who’ll make me forget you and those times. Dave is trying but I’m still hoping for the best ‘cos you were the best I ever had” – #T.E.F 4

 

“You’re thinking of a lie to tell right?… Save it. I left the door open. Just like back then. Gotcha!” she said as she swayed to the giant dressing table crouching like it was caving in from the weight of the magnificent mirror placed on it” – T.E.F #5

I heard footsteps like someone was coming towards my ward but the person just walked past.

“How could I be here all alone?”

“Where am I?… Where are my friends?

I painfully continued tracing my memory back.

As unpredictable as I am, I was not thinking of Dave, Titi, June, Doctor FM or whosoever was already in or going to get into the confession saga. I was thinking about Elizabeth or Lizzy as she introduced herself. – #T.E.F 6

 

 

Making friends is easy cheesy and Lizzy’s case was easier, considering the fact that she called me first and she was naturally a comely person. She even had already asked me to come see her at home even though we just got on the same page. – #T.E.F 7

 

I walked into the pub and made for our regular spot. There she was, in a sky blue polo shirt a black trousers sitting opposite someone. I moved close enough and stop beside the table. A fair skinned lady sat opposite Titi. – #T.E.F 8

 

A drop of sweat hit the file on the table. Dave’s body system was not acknowledging the temperature of the room in the slightest.

Doctor FM was the last person that should know about this whole June issue. – #T.E.F 9

 

How did she change this much that I had to go through all this homework to recognize her? Isn’t this the same girl I avoided throughout my Pre University and university days? The same girl who didn’t care whether I had someone I was dating or not… – #T.E.F 10

 

Titi began rubbing her hands all over me as I stood there like a pole with my eyes closed. I guess she must have taken that for a go ahead while I was fighting a serious fight with the large part of my inner self which was still very much under Titi’s spell. – #T.E.F 11

“Hi Dave, I heard you’re engaged. Congrats dude but you might wanna get one more ring for your baby mama. Or what do you think?… We’re having a baby. Congrats again. I’ll talk to you soon.” – #T.E.F 12

“Was I shot?”… “Did I fall victim of the outbreak?”… “Did I suffer cardiac arrest?”… or how exactly did I get here?

Soon, the questions forcefully gave way to memories and if not for the attachments on my hands, I would’ve held my hands in my hands.

Memories.

I think I’ll be Dorothy’s dad for the ‘main time’ since I know her father who to her is coming with a unicorn from Wales might never show up again. I’ve fallen in love with these two ladies I first met at the bank some months back. – #T.E.F 13

 

“Ok dear, what do you want me to do? Tell me anything you have in mind but like I said, no abortion… Its one of the scariest thing on a woman’ s path and I’m not ready to die for you or us. – T.E.F #14

 

“Hmm… Kate!” I thought. “Kate could be the person to solve this June’s scooby-doo mystery by putting my doubts to confirmation and collecting answers to most of my questions. – T.E.F #15

 

“Sorry, excuse me. Hi!… I’m kinda finding it hard choosing between this lavender and acqua fresh. Can you help me?” Kate held two cans of ambi pùr air fresheners in her hands, smiling childishly as the lady she asked took some thinking time herself.” – T.E.F #16

 

‘I thought you said we were friends Jay?… You are not my friend if you know something that can harm me and you refuse to tell me about it. Its all good and let’s just say that’s how you payback

for whatever offense I’ve committed against you. – T.E.F #17

 

The man who was bold enough to flex a few hours of sex with his ex and the next thing is chickening out of the resulting stress and headache without even the courage to confront his fiancée and tell her what went down and what’s going to be the way forward. – T.E.F #18

I heard two voices talking outside my ward and I could bet one was Kate’s. I recognized her voice. I tried calling out but instead of sound, it was the emotional fluid that found its way out of my eyes.

“Why am I crying?”… “What’s my health status?”… “How bad is my condition?”

Memories returned been syphoned into my head.

Titi stood up, tears streamed straight down her eyeballs over her cheek down to her chin and just as Believe was about saying “I’m sorry” for the ninetieth time, two hot slaps landed on his face. They were quick, sharp, not noisy but they stung. – #T.E.F 19

 

“You both need to forgive yourselves and push out all forms of third parties so you can rebuild your love lives from the scratch. Unforgiveness would just eat away your soul and before you say Jack, you’re down with one sickness or the other. – #T.E.F 20

 

“What could’ve happened that Liz deemed it right to keep me away from?… What must have caused her consistent weeping?” I thought as I moved to take a squatting position in front of her. – #T.E.F 21

 

I’m working on getting engaged to a single mom. I’m planning missions for my crush to save my ex’s relationship. I almost lost my friend to a club brawl… Now I’m going to have to either find a way to stop Dorothy’s dad from ripping mother and daughter apart or step back to allow him do whatever he wants. – #T.E.F 22

 

I’m sure Dave’s testimony won’t be the first there is and won’t be the last but when nature itself decided to give u a second chance, you had better make the most of it before one mistakenly bags himself or herself a set of triplet. – #T.E.F 23

 

They waved to me and I awkwardly waved back what would definitely be my last wave. I started my car, took a deep sigh and screeched out of their sight… And definitely out of their mind and their life. – #T.E.F 24

Just as I remembered Lizzy, Tammy, and the events of the past few couple of weeks, a heavy blunt pain hit me right on top of my head like a sucker punch.

…And just as my room door opened, I blacked out.

Only you can call time on some pain you feel inside. You’ll enjoy it as much as you want to, until you realize you call the shots.