“He beats me, he cheats on me (occasionally with my sister), he is very stingy, he doesn’t appreciate or respect me (except at the end of the month when I give him money) but I believe God that he will change, because I love him!“

“She has a bad temper, she sleeps around, she gave me gonorrhea, syphilis (and something else the doctors don’t have a name for yet), but I just know that with God all things are possible!“

Here’s the scenario

There’s a guy in Port Harcourt (names withheld) who lives in mortal fear of his wife.

He is a soft-spoken, smallish and slender guy.

His LOUD and bad-tempered wife on the other hand, is an unusually strong woman with the physique of a seasoned sumo wrestler (on steroids).

This man doesn’t dare raise his voice in his own house for fear of a “brushing“.

The one time he threatened to divorce her, his ABLE BODIED WIFE dragged him into the bedroom (kicking and screaming) and administered a WWF style beating that left him in tears pleading,”Na joke I bin dey joke oh! “

In the interest of self preservation, the young man has since then resigned from his job and is currently hiding out in an undisclosed location in town, secretly making arrangements to leave the country.True story!

A neighbour of mine has a cheating husband (whom has slept with their last two house helps) and all she says is, “As long as he uses a condom he is still my husband!” True story!

Recently a colleague of mine (after being hospitalized from a beating from her boyfriend) told me that, “Good men are scarce, let me manage the one I have than start all over with another person.” She said as she nursed a bruised and swollen eye. “Nobody is perfect” she added with a wince. True story!

There’s a very popular (and in my opinion) stupid saying that goes;“The devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know“So if I understand this correctly are we saying that it is better to manage a bad thing (the devil) than to go out and seek a good thing (the angel) because angels are scarce??

Last time I checked there’s nowhere in the Bible where the devil is better than an Angel. Enough said.

A bad relationship is a bad relationship.

It’s like watching a bad movie at the cinema. You buy the ticket, grab your popcorn and drink and settle into the hall. The movie starts and 10 minutes into it, you realise you’re watching not just a crappy movie but the TITANIC of crappy movies.

Here’s what’s funny, most people stay all through to the end either out of boredom or because, “…. I paid 1500 for this movie….biko my money no go waste!“

A similar principle is applied in some relationships

A lot of people just “zombielikely” stay to the end and hope for the best even when they know it’s not what they want. That’s like being anally raped by a gorilla and hoping for an orgasm.

That’s madness. I know sometimes relationships change for the better but that only comes from some effort from BOTH PARTIES.

Look I personally agree that relationships can be worked on but like I said it takes TWO.

The only place you can work on a relationship all by yourself and get all love affection, kissing, cuddling, understanding and loyalty you deserve is in a padded cell of an asylum.

My point? YOU CAN’T DO IT BY YOURSELF!!!

Love is a choice, relationships are a choice, and marriage is a choice.

I hate clichés’ but please, DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS!!!

If he beats you, he can kill you.

I read somewhere today that a man beat his wife to death recently.

People are scared of a lot of things, being alone, starting over, never finding love, ebola….

Fear is no excuse to remain unhappy. Trust me!

Life is a choice my friend

Written by Charles Edwin-Kentebe