It’s becoming harder and harder to find a real relationship that is based on more than just sex these days.

Yes, of course, I acknowledge that sex is an important factor in a relationship. If you’re not sexually attracted to someone then you’re probably not meant to be in a relationship. But there are other factors that make up a strong relationship that don’t have anything to do with sex.

I like to think that a relationship can be broken down into five categories. All five of these categories must be strong in order to have a real relationship.

Each of these factors brings about a different view on the relationship and its strength. It’s a good idea to keep these in mind while evaluating your current relationship or even when you’re thinking about getting into a relationship in the future.

These factors could mean the difference between a short-term fling and a long term marriage.

Personality

Personalities should complement each other in a healthy relationship. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to date someone just like you; certain personality types work well with opposites too.

You should be in a relationship with someone whose personality works well with yours. Try working out any kinks in the beginning of the relationship if possible, but remember you shouldn’t have to change the person you’re dating on a fundamental level in order to be happy.

The more you try to change someone as a person, the more they will begin to resent you. Find someone you naturally work with and a happy relationship will follow in its wake.

Communication

Communication is something that has to be built. It’s the foundation to every great relationship. You can’t and won’t know what your partner needs wants and/or expects out of the relationship without it.

When you are in a relationship, you are a team. As a team, you have to make sure you are providing for each other and making sure you consider and fulfill each other’s needs.

Friendship

Marry your best friend. Actually, start by dating your best friend. Start your relationship on a solid foundation.

You two should be able to laugh together, cry together and be there for each other during the good times and the bad. A good relationship means telling your partner all of your secrets, asking their opinions and making them a priority in your life.

A best friend is someone you want in your life forever and always; when your partner is your best friend, you’ll do whatever it takes to make your relationship last.

Trust

Have trust in your partner. I know you have probably been hurt in the past by others, but the person you’re dating now is not the same person as your ex.

If your partner has done something to discredit themselves, should they really be with you? Be with someone you can trust completely.

Relationships should be a source of comfort and respite. When you don’t trust the person you’re dating, that insecurity spreads throughout your entire life. No trust = no relationship.

Sex

As I stated above, sex isn’t the most important thing but that doesn’t mean that sex isn’t important. Great sex improves moods and releases stress.

Having great sex will strengthen your relationship with your significant other, but remember that it isn’t everything. Find other alternatives to improve moods and release stress to keep each other happy.

But if you aren’t against having sex, then you know what to do to improve your relationship.

Of course, not all relationships are the same, but these five tenets will absolutely keep the average relationship happy and healthy!

If more people paid attention to these areas, this generation can finally start having healthy, meaningful relationships that last past just a few months.

Originally written by Shyanne Kollefrath on Unwritten.