If you still haven’t heard about the viral penguin video by now, then where have you been??? Anyway, the gist is that the internet went crazy over footage of a brutal penguin love triangle captured by the National Geographic Channel for its new Animal Fight Night series.

Now, that sounds really academic, but the fact is that the fight was very bloody and touching at the same time!

Imagine a fight between a husband, wife and a ‘side-bobo’, and then when you expect the side-bobo to get the beating of his life for being such a clueless home wrecker, the tables turn and it is the husband who gets pummeled in the end.

The jury is out, and the wife is called upon to make a choice between her hubby and the side-bobo. Guess who she decides to choose, not once, but twice??? Haha! Now you have a full grasp of how it went down in the viral penguin video, don’t you?

The viral penguin video generated so much public sympathy because it is humanly expected to sympathize with the unfortunate hubby, but it is also interesting to note that the majority of the buzz was about the victorious home wrecker who mysteriously gives some valid hopes to every side-bobo and side-chic out there.

This is why I decided to do this article about the top lessons for lovers (main bobo and main chic) from that video, before they end up in the same shoes as the hubby penguin.

Before then, let’s quickly look at some quick facts about Penguins.

Did you know that Penguins are known for fidelity to their mates? An average of 72% of penguins return to mate with the same bird as the previous year. According to aviculturist Laura Dray, “There are penguin breakups, but the reasons are often strictly logistical”.

The male of a mated pair will sometimes return after the female to find his mate has moved on but death is the primary and most consistent factor of penguin divorce.

Did you also know that scientists have observed female penguins turning to prostitution to help build their nests, offering themselves to male penguins in exchange for rocks? When engaging in this behavior, female penguins usually target single males, so as not to be attacked by other females—unlike the male penguin in the video.

The females will occasionally take their payment and run, failing to complete the mating ritual with the new male and running back to their nests with their rocky prize once they have made their offer.

The world of penguin mating involves complex social structures, and when it goes wrong, can get bloody.

There seems to be some interesting similarities between these penguins and humans after all. Now, to the lessons we all should learn from the viral penguin video. Please, don’t just read, internalize and ‘practicalize’ it – I can’t stress this enough. Yorubas say ‘koju ma ribi, gbogbo ara l’oogun e’ – For the eyes not to see any evil, the whole body takes precaution.

5 Bitter Lessons For Lovers From The Viral Penguin Video

1. Never leave your lover at the mercy of a sideboo:

When the internet reacted to the video, peeps were not blaming the side-bobo as much as they blamed the main hubby for leaving home in the first place. In reality, this video should teach you to pay attention to your lover more. Women feed on attention above everything else. If you are lacking in that regard, they are most likely to go along with anyone who gives it to them, and from attention, they may begin to get other things from the other guy.

You want to keep your woman, please keep her with all you got. Once you are out of sight, you are going fast out of mind.

Trust Nigerians and their parody…they got this lesson covered so aptly with these tweets:

A celebrity angle to round it all off…

2. Never fight for a cheating woman! (You can lose!)

C’mon, do I even have to say this at all? You should know already. This fighting stuff is for women. It is a woman that catches her man with another woman and tries to beat the intruding lady to a pulp while the man gets in the middle trying to separate the fight (and sometimes getting injured in the process) or totally leaving the scene to save himself some national embarrassment. A man is not expected to fight the other man in the same scene where he catches his wife cheating, except he has a loaded gun, he is in the Army or absolutely bigger than the intruder. If you are none of those, biko leave the scene or let the man pack his things and go jejely. You can face your wife later and do all the argument.

3. If you choose to fight for a cheating wife and get beaten the first time, please GIVE UP!

I am still asking why the hubby penguin went to fight the second time. Some people will say it is love, but for me, that’s bullshit! He should have taken a walk… after the first mild beating and the humiliation of not being chosen by your own wife, there was no need to go any further into the fight. But the stubborn dude went back for some more bloody ass whooping and still lost… INSULT UPON INJURY! Taaa! You are just a ‘loser’.

4.  Never trust a cheating woman to choose you!

If there is one indelible lesson I picked from that video, it is this one. Why should I even call upon a cheating woman to make any choice? She already made one! Whatever the hubby penguin did to restore his pride was just not going to work anymore. I daresay that even if the hubby penguin had won the battle, the cheating wife would have still chosen the other homewrecker! These hoes ain’t loyal!

5. Keep your affairs private!

If there is anything more humiliating than losing your wife to a side-bobo, it has to be the fact that the whole world knows about it. Mheeeen!!! Public disgrace of life!!!  If the recent cucumber ish taught us anything, this viral penguin video just reiterates that loud lesson – Keep your affairs private! – stay off the camera, media and anything that can go viral in a split second.

See their yeye all over google now…

I hope with these few points of mine, I have been able to convince you that ‘These hoes ain’t loyal’