Like they say my people, ‘na from clap dem dey enter dance o’ and na from quarrel abuse dey start especially when e don dey body before.

There is no relationship without its own troubles. What do you expect from two imperfect beings coming together as one? Perfectly imperfect couples! It’s as simple as them both knowing they full of their own kind of unique shit but willing and happy to manage each other. Misunderstanding in well-grounded relationships should lead to more understanding and stronger bond.

Every couple desire a happy relationship. Don’t even begin to use what you see on social media as a yardstick to determine a happy or unhappy relationship. We have mastered the act of showing off the false part or just showing off the good side of our lives on social media. It’s very important you be logical enough to know what works for you and your partner and stick to it without letting longerthroat come in the way…Longerthroat for something that doesn’t really exist.

Like I mentioned early, every abuse, be it emotional or physical starts from quarrels. You don’t just wake up and decide to abuse your partner physically or emotionally except your village headmasters are pounding your destiny instead of pounded yam.

Here are 4 steps to avoiding quarrels in your relationship (I recommend you send this to your partner too as nothing works one sided):

1. Stop the blame game

Even when you know you are fully right in a misunderstanding, try not to rub it all on your partner’s face as two wrongs can never make a right. Be you male or female, take a deep breath and identify your share of the blame. Also try to see the situation from your partner’s view as we know perception differs, that way you can begin to feel your partner’s pain.

2.  Respect

Respect is a very vital ingredient for a beautiful relationship. If you do not respect your partner it simply means that anything that comes from him or her is BS. Your partner becomes an object instead of an asset. In a relationship, the people involved are meant to complement each other. Where I am strong you are weak and where I am weak you are strong. If we are both strong in same areas, awesome, we share opinions/ideas and move forward faster. If we are both weak in same area then we decide how best to gain strength and where to.

3. Don’t assume

Assumption is mother of all fuck ups. It seems confusing? Ask. You don’t understand? Ask. The explanation is still not working? Talk about it. Sit and discuss till positivity comes out of the negativity.

4. Reassurance

When was the last time you told your wife/girlfriend/partner you love her? And dear ladies, when was the last time you told your husband/boyfriend/partner you love him? If you loved him or her and still do, show it and ACT it! You do not allow the burning flame die because you think you already own this one and nothing is happening. Do different things to assure your partner he or she still got the number one spot in your life. Do not wait for Valentine or birth days. Regular reassurance makes the heart grow fonder and rids it of every building assumptions that can be harmful to your relationship. Take a walk together, take vacations, go on dates, act like there is no one else left in the world, have all the fun you should and never let the hassles of life create a gap in your relationship no matter how small.