Previous Episodes –  The House I,  The House II  The House III, The House IV, The House V ,The House VI , The house VII,The house VIII,  The house IX, The house X,  The House XI, The House XII, The House XIII, The House XIV, The House XV, The House XVI, The House XVII, The House XVIII

Ok, pause I thought to myself again. What were we going to Konigba for? Assin, we just left there na, why is Benji trying to show off to Blackky say pepper rest? Well then again who cares? We walked back to konigba gisting and making noise on the way like typical agberos only difference was I was actually the only one looking like an Agbero. Guess the weekend hadn’t been so bad after all and to imagine that Mickole and Wahidi were coming to Lagos. I wonder what for, would do well to ask Blackky later on.

“Come sef, all those Iya Nuru daughter nko. Una go don impregnate them well o“…Blackky intruded in my thoughts.

“Na Sesan you go ask that one o. Na him dey go Iya Nuru shop pass. You no go even know if na him or Iya Nuru get the shop“…Bello answered.

Benji didn’t say anything, he was looking pretty deep in thought. Only God knew what the yeye boy was thinking, I don tell am make he go find steady girlfriend. Sometimes it’s needed..Wait o, speaking of girlfriends that yeye Seyi was expecting us to go to the cinema this evening o. Wo, that’s her palava jare when she no see me, she go comot on her on. Make she sha no try call me. Not even sure if I gave her my number the last time. Ooo! My phone sef was back home, I had plugged it and forgotten since morning chei, I go don get pings and missed calls like idiot. I had to go back home…

“Guys, make una dy go..I don forget pick phone for house“…I stopped in my tracks.

“Weyreh re o, na phone you wan go pick abi na that girl wey dey follow you talk for morning you wan go meet?“..Blackky’s over too forward brain sha. They all stopped walking.

“Ehn, Sesan which girl be that?“..Ben finally spoke up sounding curious.

“Amebo how e take concern you?“

It wasn’t needed, Blackky went on to describe Seyi to them.

“Na that girl wey dey live main building, wetin be that her name sef o…Seyi!“..Bello blurted out like a Literary giant who had just won the Nobel Prize.

“Ehn if na Seyi nko, wetin come do. We only dey greet, nothing dey jare“..

“Una only dey greet..hmmm make e no go pass greeting o“..Ben said.

“Why? Wetin happen? Na your wife?” ..I frowned

“Na advise I just dey advise you“..

I just shook my head and turned around.

“Ten minutes I go meet una for there“..I shouted as I started jogging back home. At least small exercise would help burn off a bit of the Jedi we had drank earlier. One, two..one, two…hope Bode sef has woken up. Make he don clean up the room sha.

Several meters later and I was back on the street then I started walking trying to catch my breathe. Not too far off I could see Latifah standing infront of Iya Nuru’s shop. The shape of her ass ehn was really something else, if not for Bode ehn I should really straff this girl one day but what had I been doing sef before Bode arrived. Getting closer, I could see she had a tight fitting leggings on..omo this girl no wear pant o..I fit bet Boka head ontop am. Ahan, she would just be causing kasala up and down the area. Only God would deliver us.

“Latty bombom,..easy o, no kill us oo“..I joked as I walked past her.

“Broda Sesan, you sef carry eyes comot“..She batted her eyelids at me.

One of these days we would have to sit down and deliberate on this ‘Broda broda‘ zone. I stepped into the compound hmmmm e go make sense to tell Seyi I wouldn’t be able to go to the cinema with her today o make the girl no go think say na because she be lesbian I dey run. But come to think of it sef that’s the reason I’m running na! Well, all join. I entered the main building and peeped at the steps leading up make Baba Landlord no go dey house o. Been almost two months I saw the old fucker sef. Seems he wasn’t around, good. Even that Stella sef don move go abuja. Only God knows how much she was missing Uti’s dick and how the idiot dey sort house rent now. I proceeded to my destination, checking my breathe along the way if jedi still dey smell. Should have even asked Latifah for tomtom wo same noni. I got to Seyi’s door and was about knocking then looked down at the floor, there was no slippers or footwear around abi she sef don vex go to the cinema alone? I sighed and decided to knock to confirm if there was no one in when I heard something like a groan from within. I paused sharply, my ears increased in length and width. I pressed my ears to the door but wait o Sesan if person just do mistake open door now and you fall in, wetin you go talk say happen?. I counted a few steps back and thought of what to do. Darn! I hurriedly and quietly went round the building making sure no one was in sight and crouched right under Seyi’s window. Now wetin come be the difference between me and Boka sef? Ehn Sesan Sesan wetin you dey find?

“Babba, you are kkkilllin me!“..

I heard Seyi’s voice loud and clear. Haaa. Baba ke? This girl dey do Aristo ni? But she said she was a lesbian na! Abi wetin Dyke mean? Wahala wa o. I stood as close to her window as possible and stretched up a little. This was one of the rare times I wished I tall reach Ben small. I could in a little now but wasn’t seeing anybody in sight.

“Haaaa you are too sweet..na you go kill me, chei Seeeeyyyyiii“…

Na lie!!! I recognize that voice even if I died a billion times and woke up..I could recognize that voice anywhere. Baba landlord fucking Seyi the ‘lesbian‘? Ohhhh why I no tall small extra na. At least I could watch free mojo. All the groans and moaning were coming to a climax..and my dick was nodding, make I even see if the stupid Seyi sabi fuck sef.

“Haaa Seyi, you too sweet. You be the best I have fucked all my life“…na lie go kill this Baba landlord o, nothing else.

“That’s what you always say but to give me the money I asked for, you won’t“..Seyi’s sweet voice.

“I have told you I would give you. Tomorrow morning first thing when I wake up is to collect rent. Shebi its hundred thousand? It’s nothing my dear“…

“Are you sure? This won’t be the first time you are telling me that“…

“Ahan don’t you trust me me again ni?! Oya come and kiss me. Rub my dick, let me go again“…

I had heard enough, no point hanging around when I couldn’t watch the action live. But knowledge is power and as of now the rent I paid over a year ago would be the last rent I am paying in this house. I didn’t feel angry at Seyi, I don’t know why just didn’t feel so. I was scratching my beards as I headed to my room..what to do now o abi how to fuck Seyi now wey I don confirm say she no be lesbian abi she be bi-sexual? Wo, anyone jare.

I looked up and saw Bode sitting on the floor in front of the room. Wetin dey worry this boy sef, the Shayo never clear for him eye ni. I walked up to him…

“Guy, guy wetin do you?“, I kicked him.

He just looked up at me and didn’t say anything, I noticed an empty bucket by his side. Atleast he don clean room, if he wan commit suicide now, no problem. I go just find way to go break the news for him mama for Ibadan. I opened the door of the room and the stench that hit my nose was horrible! I closed it back.

“Guy! Wetin dey do you na?! Why you never clean up?!“..I barked at him.

“I would“…he mumbled.

Jesus, who shoot am? Wasn’t my business. I managed to cover my nose and went in to retrieve my phone. Got it and stepped back out. At least full battery and lots of pings to reply, three missed calls join. Well we go dey sort that one. Now had to get back to Konigba. I stepped back out.

“I’m at konigba o incase of anything. You sure you are ok“..I asked make he no be like say I no care..reality – I didn’t sef.

“Let’s go together“..he didn’t even wait to see if I agreed or not. He just stood up and went in to get a shirt. What was going on? He see ghost abi na the Jedi still dey work for him system? I waited till he got his shirt on and we began the walk to Konigba in silence. What was I to do about Seyi now ehn. All these kept running around in my head. Wasn’t even bothered about the robot walking beside me.

We got to konigba to meet a group of boys outside surrounding Boka who was down on his knees. Wetin this imbecile don do again?..I saw Bello amongst the guys standing and went to meet him.

“How va, wetin do Boka?”…

“No mind am jare. About two weeks ago Prof give am money make he help am play 1960Bet. Na hundred naira to chop around forty thousand sha. Luckily all him game come drop that weekend. He go dey happy say forty thousand sha don land o. He con begin dey find Boka up and down he no see am until today. Ok fine, Boka where the money or ticket? Na so Boka talk say he do mistake for one of the matches o. Instead make he bet ontop Southampton, he go bet ontop Sunderland“…Bello explained rapidly.

I bursted out laughing! Boka the Messiah had done it again.

“Abeg how Southampton take resemble Sunderland?” ..one of the guys standing around asked.

“Ok make he even show the ticket as proof, he no fit provide am“..Prof was lamenting now.

“And I don owe Mama over five thousand naira wey I don use order jedi for boys make we celebrate“..he continued.

I wanted to say something but then noticed Bode wasn’t beside me anymore. I motioned to Bello to excuse me as I went inside the building to check. I hailed the guys I met drinking along the corridor, saw Ben and Blackky gisting like old lovers in a corner, they didn’t see me. I looked around and saw Bode holding a drink and taking a seat in a corner. What was wrong with this boy ooo?!

I walked up to him and sat down, heaved and didn’t say anything.

“Guy what’s wrong? At least I’m the only one you know around..you can talk to me.“…

He was staring at the ground..he took a long sip of his drink and dropped the bombshell.

“Yemisi is pregnant for me“..

I bursted out laughing!!!!

THE HOUSE XX

Written by BASS @OlumiCFC

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