Apologies Ladies!

Before I begin this piece I want to state clearly here that I would be using some derogatory words to drive home my point. Albeit the words as used in this article especially “Bitch” is not as it is used by many in public, its only meant to serve the purpose of this article. Trust me if I could really avoid it, I would have.

The other night I was with a friend who has been married for two years. He had invited me over for a game of soccer since his beloved wife was out of town. William had this unusual soft spot for crazy bitches back then in school that no nice girl could fit into his life’s excesses no matter how much they tried.

The Irony of it was that William was too well-mannered, cultured, prim and prudish to be so obsessed about crazy bitches yet he couldn’t do without their drama in his routine life. William was a deep writer and I sometimes feared the girls he dated (who always left him aside one) were just a script he played out. But my fears were allayed the moment the last bitch he dated walked out of his life because William had cheated with another crazy bitch.

Nonye was William’s sport -the only thing that made meaning to his predictable life. But guess who William finally ended up with after years of being with babes who I suspect had Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?

Dupe came out of the woods under circumstances beyond human comprehension; the strange tonic William needed to get over Nonye – the sexiest, prettiest and probably the craziest of the lot William had ever been with. I remember the day they met like it was yesterday. I saw no reason why the William I thought I had known for 15 years should be attracted to that kinda girl after almost a lifetime of crazy ecstasy with babes whose satellites revolved around his world to places beyond the reach of normal humans.

With her conventional hair-do and overly decent dressing, Dupe was definitely not his spec. She did no Alcohol, make-up, parties…smoke? Not even cigarettes; though William was not a smoker most of his chics smoked Marijuana….sex; of course any guy that toiled with the idea of luring Dupe to bed should be sure he makes the afterlife if he doesn’t genuinely win her heart. With her top of the world principles, Mary Magdalene self-styled life; If Dupe is not in class having lectures or reading herself to stupor then you will find her in fellowship asking God to have mercy on men like me and William and praying to God to forgive the sins of the world since she was without sin.

If you were asked to define boredom, be with Dupe for 10 minutes and you won’t have to look into a Dictionary

I swear, I’ll be damned if she reads this…

Well, she will be too busy staying crazy for her husband to make an attempt. As for William, we already had a pact on this, so am not too bothered.

My ego was wounded; we had been playing Pro Evolution Soccer on William’s PS 3 all evening but I had to call it quits when William pummeled me 4-nil in another of his favorite team’s high scoring victories. My team, Barca had suffered untold humiliations from their supposed rivals, Real Madrid all evening. In fact, this was the sixth defeat and I was in no mood for further bashing at least not from big-mouth William.

That was when the inspiration for this piece was borne after William and I went a long way down memory lane; I wanted to know how he has fared married to his once-upon a time socially retarded and fun-hating wife.

These were the highpoints of the conversation that ensued between me and William;

“Since I reached a phase in my life that dating a girl has become more of a commitment than a charade or font to exercise moral inadequacies there is now a different level I go with relationship misadventures that’s if the misadventures still exists” William revealed

I guess what he was trying to say even if he wasn’t so explicit was that during the cause of his relationship with Dupe before they got married he strayed a bit. He still had occasional inappropriate get-together with some of the crazy bitches that had become part of his life but he quickly did draw the line because he finally figured what he was looking for in life….Dupe?

Even moi, that could be reserved and conservative a lot of times wouldn’t settle for her; put my head in a guillotine and I still won’t give it a thought

“Is there a part of the escapades in his past relationship he sometimes misses?” I quipped

“Yes, at some point but gradually Dupe and I carved a niche for ourselves that has made me forget what it was like with crazy bitches because she’s everything they never were and a little extra; she’s my realest crazy bitch”

Now that response took me unawares, I didn’t see that coming. Dupe? William’s realest crazy bitch?

Don’t get me wrong oh! It’s not like I envy my friend oh, at least not as at the time the inspiration for this came. Well, I had the chance to catch a glimpse and visualize imagery in my minds’ eye of what William meant when I met Dupe last weekend.

Ok!!!

I won’t go further with my friends’ private lives just know that Dupe is not the same sanctimonious chic I use to know. More like she was waiting for the right guy before she took out her arsenals.

At least it’s just one guy she has to explore with, right?

But how William became the right guy….only Jah can explain.

Now my question is;

Are there guys who revel in the company of bitches yet wanna be with ladies?

So many guys are out there who are married to cultured, nice, prim and proper ladies yet still go back to their bitches; men who will prefer to engage in sexual escapades with a bitch than doing it with the ones they truly love or claim to love.

Is it just about the sex or is there an extra edge to these other bitches that go gaga most times?

Do some guys marry ladies because they think they will make great mothers yet still fall back on crazy bitches?

Is there a rationale to this?

Is there a chance that some are not even bothered about what influence their would-be wives will have on their unborn children and just marry because the babe is a hot-crazy bitch and fun to be with?

Is it possible that a guy can marry a well mannered, cultured, nice, decent girl with the hope of turning her into the crazy ass bitches he spent his entire teenage and twenty-something years with, just like my friend did with his wife?

Or is it that William’s wife had always had that tendency but her values won’t let?

Did William foresee it and saw what I’m seeing now several years ago?

So many questions begging for answers; I wish you guys can give me answers now.

However, if you are waiting for my answers or what will sound like answers then you will have to chill till next week because this epistle will be longer than I imagined

In the meantime hit the comment box so you will save me the mind-plays that would come with my attempt to resolve the arguments raised here when this returns next Friday.

Yours Truly

Lekan Linkin Lofinji